2012 state of mind

2012
state of mind

when compiled effectively, the evidence seems pretty dismal- it would seem as if we are indeed all headed for certain death come december of 2012. so, its only logical that we all bend over and kiss each others fannies goodbye.

whats that? im being too rash and you dont agree? you think that its all a coincidence?

well, i wont exactly say i disagree. ill give you doomsday believers one thing- the mayans really do make you think its possible, and then coupled with the countless other philosophers who backup the mayans claims- it really does seem to be a lock we are all going down in a ball of flames. then reason kicks in and you ask yourself, 'really, two years from now the earth will no longer sustain human life? thats lame, im never going to able to get all those sweet AARP discounts! and dont even get me started on how fun i imagine 2013 will be. so all of it will just be gone?' both arguments have valid points, but it doesnt really matter WHAT you choose to believe, because 2012 is coming whether or not we believe it will bring with it the end of days (and possibly some neat plagues, maybe the earth will spew fire- WHO KNOWS!)

what i do know for certain, is that regardless of what we think might happen, no one really knows and thats why ive adopted a '2012 state of mind'. brilliant, if i do say so myself! it eases both my rational and irrational beliefs with one fell swoop!! in this state one does in fact believe that there is a real possibility that the world will end (while also firmly believing that the claims of destruction are almost laughable) and those living in this state along with me will live their lives as if we were all at deaths door.

not that we should need an excuse to live life to the fullest and unapologetically, but this is the perfect reason to kick your own life into high gear! what better reason to go out and experience the world than the possibility of total annihilation? if nothing else, we can thank the mayans for helping us all to pause and consider what it would be like if we were all gone. i feel, they also force us to take a look inward at ourselves- i find myself asking: what impact have you made in this life? whos lives have you touched? are you proud of who you are? have you experienced things that bring you to life? did you do all you could while on this earth?

i have two short years to take my life wherever i want. after that, its either death or keep on livin'. while im crossing my fingers for the latter, if death comes a'knockin for us all i know that ill be happy with who i am, who ive been, and what i did on this earth. in the meantime, i will work tirelessly in all my endeavors, i will love those around me with all my heart, i wont be afraid to take risks (albeit calculated, comon we cant just go willy nilly now), and above all i will stop at nothing to try and accomplish all of my dreams by december 21st, 2012.

best case scenario- shits cool, and the mayans were just clowning around.
worst case scenario- we all die, but proud of the lives we led.
i say- WIN/WIN!
__________

for those who are interested in more information about 2012- im not ashamed to admit that i have a love for the national geographic channel and an even stronger love for 'investigation discovery'. a while back, i watched 'decoding the past: doomsday 2012', its most defiantly a great piece (it does a fabulous job of making you believe its going down) but i will warn you- even though im sure they tried to remain unbiased in the episode, with a title like 'doomsday 2012' its pretty clear which direction they were leaning.

happy veterans day!

happy veterans day
also, happy wednesday

random thought #21

random thoughts #21

**lesbian, queer, transgender, bisexual, breeder- it doesnt matter how you identify, if you have that glorious estrogen running in your veins and that precious uterus aching monthly then you must be at the ready for baby fever. it spreads faster than h1n1 or swine, and has been crippling hoards of women for generations. ive noticed it lately in my friends, it starts off innocently enough with comments such as, 'aw, look how adorable that baby is'. it slowly transforms into your friends dropping the 'i want one' line when seeing particularly cute kids. and it ends with you wrestling a turkey baster full of semen out of your girlfriends hands at 3am.
in all honesty, im sure im on a boat with this thought, but i really do feel that people are chatting about children more often lately. i have nothing against kids (thats a lie, nothing makes me want to die inside more than a child with snot crust all over their nose, and lord knows what embedded under their nails) but i know that its not a bridge i want to cross yet in my life.
i know that when i do have children, i will devote my life to them and right now i dont feel like im equipped to be the absolute best parent in the world (talk about understatement, i still think that a dinosaur sleeping bag is a sound investment).

**i read this online, and felt it was too good not to post:
"90 people get the swine flu and everybody wants to wear a mask.
a million people have AIDS and nobody wants to wear a condom."
now sure, i know that mostly ladies read my blog..and of those ladies, most of them are sleeping with other ladies and thus a condom would be a bit much, however- washington dc has the highest rate of HIV and AIDS, so i thought it was worth a mention.

**halloween went great, here are a few pieces of photograpic perfection from that weekend:

my gorgeous friends, emily the deadhead and alisha the chick from the end of 'dude wheres my car'...hail zoltan indeed!

samula the kickball player, my girl donna as pikachu (way to reinforce stereotypes!), and my friend danielle as part of H1N1

just a little something special that you would only find at a party chalked full of hot lesbots

my friend danielle and i, getting RAWRdy! ok. that was a terrible pun, but still- i bet it made u smile a little.

and finally, this photo does nothing but confirm that im a creepy fella indeed. (but you are welcome none the less)

** the DC sniper was put to death today. i was reading different online blogs/facebook status', and frankly i was shocked at the level of anger people still carried with them towards the two snipers. i was in the area when the sniper was around. i suffered just as much as anyone else who wasnt directly touched by them. i was forced to run in zig zags home from school. i was terrified that my parents were going to be sniped away while pumping gas.

we all lived with that fear, but this anger? what does that solve? i consulted my best friend jill hannes because she is the only person i know who can speak and enlighten me no matter what the topic. i told her that while i felt justice was served, it was hard for me to be happy that someone was killed. yes, i know first hand the amount of pain he caused this area and that he robbed the nation of the security of the mundane however i dont feel its my place to say who lives and dies.
jill reminded me that the sniper did just that- chose who lived and died on a whim, he tried to play 'god', got caught, and now has to face the music.
even so- i have a hard time wrapping my mind around glorifying any form of untimely death, justified or not. i do hope that those who thought the execution would bring them closure, found some solace tonight.

** i cleaned my room this weekend and am getting rid of four boxes of clothes- this was, sad to say, EXTREMELY tough for me. im the type of person who can NEVER wear something, but when i hold it in my hands i feel as if i can do anything with it. i can admit im a thrift store impulse buyer, the only way i dont go overboard and invest a whopping seven dollars on fun things like dino sleeping bags is if my girlfriend comes to the thrift store with me.
if you are a hardcore thrifter like i am, you know that when going to a big store its best to go in with a lot of patience and an open mind...my girlfriend does NOT shop like this. in fact, when i bring her along i often end up feeling terribly guilty and leave before my gameplan has been completed because she literally stands there- thats IT. being the empathetic peach that i am all i want to do is make her happy, so then i say 'lets go', which of course turns into a pissing contest because she doesnt want to let me know that shes upset so she pretends she actually does want to be there and then im mad she wont just admit that she hates shopping and she doesnt share my love for all things thrifty.
ahh, love.


<3 u sunshine

shameless plugs!

shameless plugs
for my friends

attention all youtube enthusiasts! if you were in the mood for more LGBT fun here are a few lesbifriendly (comon, you have to admit, that made up word was pretty good) youtube channels:

queerFAQtor-
currently consists of four delightfully dynamic ladies who answer questions, provide insight, and all around are fun too watch chat it up about gay issues. they reach for a broader market- than say, just lesbians. they aim to reach the LGBTQQIAP crowd. wait- what?
admittedly, much like you, i had no idea such an acronym existed, let alone was considered common vernacular for some. but be that as it may Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Queer Questioning Intersex and Allies is the group they target. (dont be intimidated by all the words, just know it includes you)
i personally have chatted with mara and shes a hoot, i was partial to her DRAW ME video.

lezzismore-
also a lesbian community channel that describes themselves as, '8 fantastic women, from all over the globe, coming together to vlog about life' pretty straight forward id say! they say that flattery will get you anywhere, and in the case of monday lezzismore vlogger sophie- it got her on my blog. on her most recent vlog she gave a shout out to my videos, and subsequently im jocking her page, and lezzismore.


and finally, a personal plug- i put in an audition video to be a new vlogger on 'queerFAQtor'. if you felt so inclined, please leave a comment. while it would be wrong to instruct you to say nice, sweet, heartfelt comments- im sure you know what my intention is by posting this.
(hint: it has a lot to do with 'nice, sweet, heartfelt comments')


onto my favorite blogs-
to be perfectly honest, there are few blogs i read regularly. i often pop in on many, but the few that i make a point to read regularly are worth daily checks...

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[hip-ster-krit]
i think she is incredibly witty and smart, but the main reason i cant get enough is because her life is infinitely more interesting than mine, and more than likely yours as well (no offense- but check out THIS POST in particular, and tell me im wrong. seriously- her life is chalk full of 'are you fucking serious' situations)
also, i can shallowly admit that shes gorgeous and a hipster- and thus, i am a smitten kitten with her.

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a lust for words
my friend heather- i know her in real life as well as the bloggosphere, and she is an exceptional person. i often feel a bit voyeuristic when i read her blogs. you really do jump right into her heart, mind, and soul when you follow her work- and you then become connected to her honesty, and openess in regards to life. she also is a tremendous photographer. you should check it out!

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i wrote this for you
i dont know the author, ive never really wanted to because i feel given the nature of his/her writings, we arent supposed to know who they are. however my undying romantic heart cant help but frequent the blog as often as the posts appear.

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the hitch list
polly, the author of the hitch list, is a girl i can safely say that i have a crush on- and thats solely because of this post. shes a gem, thats for sure- a witty, witty gem.

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my soul is a butterfly
ive always been fascinated with jewish people. i cant really nail down what i like most about them, their religious affiliation? their quick wit? their adorable hair? their precious mothers? their insane ability to network amongst other jews? all of the above.
so, you add 'incredibly smart', 'painfully witty', and 'insomniac' into the mix, and you have the perfection that is hannah of 'my soul is a butterfly'...please, please read this post.

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is this thing on?
amanda fiercehair is another friend that i knew in real life prior to our online blogaffair. well, thats actually taking a few liberties with our relationship considering there is no affair, but a mutual love of blog is present! she mostly talks about baking fun things, like skull cookies, but i mostly love when she posts her outfits. this girls style is amazing- definitely check her out!

the great divide

the great divide
casual vs monogamy

'i just dont understand why she doesnt talk to me like she talks to you. we are all great friends- i just dont get it.' i said to my girlfriend the other day about a very close mutual friend of ours.
my girlfriend reminded me, 'ashley, you are different from us- thats why she doesnt want to tell you the nitty gritty about her sexapades'

different, what a broad term- however i knew exactly what she meant. some of my friends and i have differing viewpoints on sex, i personally am a monogamous creature. try as i might (alright, its clear i didnt try that hard) i just cant emotionally disconnect myself from being intimate with someone else. and to be perfectly honest, i dont really have any issue with that. sure a part of me is curious what its like to bounce around to something new all the time, but the overwhelming part of me loves the closeness and comfort of someone i truly care about- and on top of that, i do look back on fondly every encounter i have had..no regrets.

now there are people who share my beliefs, but there are others that feel a more casual approach to sex is whats best. the main 'pro' ive heard to having an aloof outlook on intimacy is that emotions come less into play, that if you arent committed or if its understood to be a 'one time thing' no one will get hurt. also, the argument of personal satisfaction comes into play. a very close friend of mine adores women, but has issues with being faithful. she has been known to have beautiful ladies at her beck and call- im serious, she slays the FINEST women...but a relationship is a HUGE commitment for her and her lifestyle. she may argue that shes emotionally detached from all the women shes been with, but i know that there were a few that got to her. she personifies the mentality of 'lets just have a good time right now'.

so whats wrong with that?
absolutely nothing.

i dont personally choose to conduct myself in that way, but mostly because i know that i get too emotionally invested in people. i would in no way ever judge anyone who didnt agree with my views on monogamy and understandably, i expect the same respect. what it all boils down to, is one of my favorite lines that a homeless woman once shouted at me upon my exit from the gay club, 'do you babygirl, do you'. whatever works for you, whatever makes you happy, whatever fulfills you is what you should do.

as it pertains to my friend who doesnt want to talk to me about objectifying women, meaningless hook ups, or her being an all around ladypimp; do you babygirl. you know im not here to judge you, yes its not my business- but who doesnt like a good story? and even though my friend wont tell me what happened this weekend in graphic detail, every lesbian knows- the truth comes out eventually ;-) and babygirl, i know what you did on the couch!

dear lesbifriends

dear lesbifriends;

happy election day to you. its 10:30pm est and its still a bit too close to call in maine as far as their gay marriage proposal is concerned. (by the way, check out the video posted below. a proposal of a different kind at the DC council meeting- it made me cry..) at my work establishment everyone is super inundated with news, ALL the time. when people die- im aware the minute it crosses the wire, when 13% of a precinct is projecting a winner in a gubernatorial election- im on point; when a silver alert (which i learned yesterday is for the old folks, and an amber alert is for children) is issued- i know what type of geriatric character is mia.



with all of that said, i hope you all accept my apology as my post today is lacking. i was practicing 'responsibility' and focused all of my efforts towards my workload today (shocking considering my paycheck would lead one to believe im 7 years old and work at a textile factory). however, if i can be honest with you, im in love with my job and although it can be time consuming, tedious, and turn me into a robot- i wouldnt give it up for anything.

thats a lie. why do i feel obligated to say that. yes- im thrilled with my job, and i find my work rewarding, but ive been busting my hump looking for that job thats going to change my world. i- like most of my peers- have been tirelessly searching for a path in live thats going to fulfill us. im still on that path, this job a mere step on the way to that point. oh no- im going to stop now, i had no intention of having this little letter go down the path of 'hopes, dreams, and work'. not today ashbash, brevity is key.

i shall return tomorrow, assuming my workload thins out. but even if not- you know i cant stay away.

so long,
ashley

happy full beaver moon

happy full beaver moon
also happy november

im sure you all were expecting me to blog about my halloween adventures. you were perhaps thinking of popping on by the ol' lesbifriends site, see what happened in my neck of the woods this weekend. well guess what? im throwing you a curve ball (its clear by 'curve ball' i actually mean 'ive misplaced my camera cord, and thus cant upload any photos right now') but regardless, today is a day to celebrate something that in some social circles is held in higher regard than halloween.

i know- it feels almost blasphemous to say that any day could in fact be greater than halloween but i learned, its not at all impossible. you see today my favorite coworker came up to me and was mentioning a conversation she had partaken in earlier in the day. an even older coworker had spoken with her of the full moon tonight, and how it was a full beaver moon. she of course sheepishly chuckled and went about her day but not without telling me of such a funny title.

upon hearing this, i did a little research- was it possible that i didnt know about an actual day called 'full beaver moon'?! how had i missed it, all these years- can you even imagine all of the fun, mildly inappropriate yet still intellectually rooted, zingers i could whip out on a day such as this? well friends, i come bearing fabulous news- the farmers almanac indeed does refer to this full moon, as the full beaver moon.

the story behind it, almost supports the legitimacy of the day if for no other reason than the story seems like something a hunter/gatherer would make up in order to remember to set the beaver traps. or the story is- in my humble opinion, a really big letdown- and pretty lame given the awesomeness of the title.

i took it upon myself to write a new fun backstory to go along with the full beaver moon. with the mention of moon, i felt the easiest approach would be that of something vampiric (you bet your sweet ass i just made up that word) however i quickly remembered while i think the vampire genre is fun- i think we can all admit they are a bit over played as of late, subsequently my story does not include any vampires.

-------------------

full beaver moon
modified definition by ashley

often misinterpreted as the time when the beaver traps were set before the winter so as to have enough pelts to keep the locals warm, 'full beaver moon' in actuality refers to a sight that is rarely seen to those outside of the female race. its not uncommon for lesbians in particular to witness this occurrence, as they both sleep with and posses a full beaver. (beaver, of course a pseudonym for 'vagina' or 'snatchbox' as i prefer to say)
the full beaver moon ocurs only when completely disrobed and a woman then bends over. one will only spot a full beaver moon if standing directly behind said woman when she backs it up.
'a full fanny + snatch shot' is its street term, but this author would never use such crass terms to address the beauitful perfection that is the full beaver moon.

dont hate, appreciate

dont hate
appreciate!

not to long ago the girlfriend of a friend of mine posted some new photos online, being of the 'social-networking generation' (aka the most voyeuristic generation to date) of course i flipped through. at the time, it mattered very little that i dont really know the girls girlfriend, nor any of the people photographed. i was just flipping through shit- i stumbled across one photo where the girl looked very nice..or at least noticeably nicer than she did in the previous photos. i commented on one, 'hottie'.

thats it- not 'i want to sleep with you'; not 'damn girl, you stacked'; not even 'leave your girlfriend for me, im more desirable and wittier than her'. nay my friends, i simply said 'hottie'- i know candy hearts that are more explicit with their sentiments. i didnt think anything of it until about 5 minutes later when i got a text essentially telling me to step off of my friends girlfriend, from my friend.

from 'hottie' to 'i want to be all up in your girls shit' in no time flat- jumping to conclusions 101!

in case there was any doubt in anyones mind- im not in the girlfriend stealing business; im not in the cheating on my girlfriend business; but i also dont think its wrong to let a woman know when she is looking good. whats wrong with our world if i cant tell a lady she is working it and i noticed? i know far too many girls dont hear it enough. 'you look beautiful today' should not be confused with 'im trying to get naked with you'.

we all know that women need/deserve to hear positive reinforcement. hell- everyone deserves a compliment every now and then, and if its warranted then why the fuck not? i firmly believe in putting good into the world and admittedly i may take this a step too far, what with my complimenting strangers when i walk into work or talking to people that reason tells me to be terrified of but my heart says they are lonely and need a friend. its a sad day when i admit that too many people out there assume the worst.

my friend assumed i was trying to plant the seed of ashley inside her girlfriend, when in reality i was just trying to be nice and genuine. (10 points to anyone else who know has the seed by the roots now stuck in their head!) why do we do this?? you are at a bar, another girl tells your girlfriend she looks great- what do you do?

perhaps its just proof that everyone functions differently in relationships, but my girlfriend and i have an understanding- yes, we are 100% committed to each other, but we arent dead. i know my hotblooded baby still has a pulse, and still finds other women attractive. i have no issue with her saying, 'look at the fanny on that girl' (granted, she would never say fanny- pretty sure thats just me) and she has no issue with me telling her about attractive women. i guess we dont really have much of a jealousy problem- but even if you do have a jealousy issue in your relationship, there is no harm in compliments.

if someone is checking out my precious lady dove, do i flip a shit and throw down some bones? well, as that would most likely end in me getting me teeth smashed in, or more realistically- me engaging in some sort of witty banter with said girl- the short answer is no. no- i would not flip out- and why should i? i obviously find her absurdly attractive, and if other women see that as well it does nothing but reassure me that im one lucky little duck to have this beautiful woman WILLINGLY by my side regularly.

my whole argument in this situation makes it clear that im a trusting person, and thats really what this boils down to. i trust that my girlfriend loves me as i love her- so i dont worry about her ever acting on anything..and vice versa. when it comes to those that are close to me, they know- i have no problem telling you how fabulous your rack looks...but thats where it ends. i never have, or would (or play any part in facilitating) cheating. ive been hurt that way before but moreover its not my character to participate in those sorts of shenanigans.

i implore you all to go out, and if you see a beautiful woman- let her know. however, if her girlfriend tries to shank you- run.
but not before you let her know you were just appreciating her girl, not trying to mack on her. come on ladies- lets spread the love around, hell- lets go crazy and all hug.
naked? alright, i took it too far just now- have a safe and happy halloween everyone!

you sir, are an ass

State Senator Ken Cuccinelli
(Republican-Fairfax, VA)

“My view is that homosexual acts, not homosexuality, but homosexual acts are wrong. They’re intrinsically wrong. And I think in a natural law based country it’s appropriate to have policies that reflect that. ... They don’t comport with natural law. I happen to think that it represents (to put it politely; I need my thesaurus to be polite) behavior that is not healthy to an individual and in aggregate is not healthy to society.”
-Mr. Ken Cuccinelli

read more, draw your own conclusions.

random thought #20

music, thoughts, velcro
humpday thoughts

• first and foremost, i have got to get a few songs out of my dome piece right now..
  **my friend marvin is a dj (aka the clown prince) and he gives me fun songs daily- this was todays gem.
  florence+ the machine- youve got the love
  
  **i dont care if you blaze or not- this song is catchy, amazing, and one of my favorites.
  brazilian girls- pussy
  
  ** what a beautiful day this was:
  
  
  **personally, one of the best remixes ive heard- and such a sexy, provocative song..its how i envision i walk into a party. dont lie- you have a song playing in your head too. now, im honest enough to admit that when i enter a party it would more appropriate to play something a bit more lame, something that has maybe a trip hop beat. you know, that would be easy to play off something like walking into tables or tripping down stairs..agh whatever- ill stick with mr. manson as my soundtrack.
  
  
  **such a beautiful song, and i think the reason why im in love with gregory and the hawk because they always seem produce poetic lyrics. i think im partial to anything thats well written, or at least rooted in the written word..
  
  
  **my heart yearns for the west coast sun on my precious baby face. this song does nothing but make me want to go back to my best friend jill in san fran.
  
  
  **my girlfriend introduced me to these virginia natives a while back, and after i went to their concert (with mambo sauce) they really hit me. absolutely love their work- ive talked about them before- but i really feel people shy away from reggae, soulful, powerful, and meaningful music. its not the 'stanky leg' but i promise it will make you feel something. i love SOJA...
  
  
  **finishing off with a fun combo of weezer and lil wayne. lol i love hearing him sing this song- in those buddy holly glasses. i bet you cant stop partying you fun fella
  weezer + lil wayne- cant stop partying
  
  
• i was pretty bummed today...got some news regarding my social life, and it was disappointing.
  with the information i got- i was prompted to vent this:
  we as humans are required to be selfish sometimes- its called self preservation. never allow anyone to make you feel as if focusing on yourself is a bad thing from time to time. most of my close friends know i cycle around. when i start to feel a bad wave crashing in my life, or im particularly susceptible to stress- i have to address it. im not going anywhere, but you will find times that i retreat into my own head. if i dont take self inventory regularly, im liable to go insane.
  the case is true for anyone (regardless of whether or not you agree with me). you have to put yourself first at some point in order to survive- no question about it.
  i used to spread myself so thin, and ignore any inkling of an emotion inside of me. i lived to make others happy. im still painfully empathetic with my friends, but ive learned that if im not genuinely happy i cannot make anyone else feel that way. ive learned that im not an awful friend if i address myself. and furthermore, who is more invested in helping me, than ME? is it so wrong to say 'im sorry that you are hurting , and i can provide a hug and a few words of wisdom, but i have to work on me right now'? thats not wrong.
  i think its wrong to consistently put yourself over others.
  i think its wrong to take from people without ever expecting to give.
  but more than anything, i think its wrong to use words to stab a friend just to see them bleed. its easy to forget how these words, these symbols we have created, when strung together can completely tare a person down.
  i dont honestly believe i am a bad friend. i take that very, very personally and if you believe that i am- then dont associate with me. but i know when im capable (and even when im not, 100%) i will bend over backwards and run through fire for those i call my 'friends'.
  hell- id even defend you in a court of law- please remember that. i value your friendship, as long as you value mine.
  
  
• the topic of 'self medication' and 'vices' came up today with me and a few people.
  i felt that while not always healthy, that self medication and vices were necessary- and if not that, at least they were normal. that whether or not we own up to it, we all have unhealthy habits/neurosis/issues that we hold on to until we are strong enough to let them go (or weak enough to replace them).
  a girl snapped at me saying that we all should attempt to live a life that is too enlightened to smoke, or drink, or whatever your thing is. (it was at this point i realized she didnt want to actually have an intellectual conversation, but rather hop on her 'drugs, drinking, sex, and anything unholy is wrong' soapbox, and be unwilling to even listen to the other side)
  it was at this point that the reformed stoner came into the conversation. (almost out of nowhere- it was as if he was waiting in the wings, and at the very mention of drugs *BAM* thats his cue) he looked at her and said 'really? you are going to tell ME how to become enlightened?' the girl nodded and said, 'you just dont understand because you havent ever lead a clean, wholesome, vice-free life.' the reformed stoner chuckled and told the girl to shutup because she has a secret stash of ho-hos in her desk drawer.
  i, maturely, high fived him and we walked away.
  
  
• no, i do not owe you my internet friendship because we went to elementary school together, or because in high school we knew eachothers name. it makes me feel weird because you never talked to me- i know you are just trying to get your 'stalk' on.
  
  
• i really wish i were a guy sometimes- only because if i were- i would want to get some sweet ink on my pecs.
  that and id love to pretend my woozle was the wand from harry potter. id roll up into a room all naked, and just go 'wingardium leviosa', then put a flashlight spotlight on my lil fella.
  
  
• i wore my velcro shoes today. yes- the very ones you see beneath you.
  why, you ask?
  meh..hell if i know.
  i just enjoy them because they say, 'im classy enough to wear shoes, but i clearly dont feel this is a situation where laces need to be present'...which sometimes is misinterpreted as 'im lazy as fuck, and like the sound that velcro makes' (which is equally as true)