gay marriage party plans

gay marriage party plans
because a little forethought never killed anyone

my fairy gaymother

dear ellen,

well, in addition to your growing list of job titles (tv host, american idol judge, covergirl spokeswoman, the current face of lesbianism, and the woman who cuddles up with portia derossi on the regular) its high time you add another notch to your belt...thats right, the highly coveted title of "ashleys fairy gaymother". im sure you can imagine the list of lesbian idols was long, and thus pairing it down we difficult. it came down to you and oprah- and as she isnt technically 'gay', that pretty much knocked her out of the running. i wont lie, my precious lindsay lohan was on the list for a bit but that was just me thinking with the wrong head. i will always have a spot for my lilo, but shes far from fairy gaymother material. not like you- you stand out above the rest, and no one but you would do to be my favorite lesbian. dont you worry, kayne isnt here thus, your acceptance speech wont be cut short.

ive always been intrigued by you- i mean, as a lesbian, its hard not to at least be aware of whats going on in your life. you are a pioneer, a renegade- fuck sarah palin, you were the first to 'go rouge' (and in my opinion, would have looked a heck of a lot better than her on the cover of newsweek/runners world.) whether or not you know it, you are an inspiration to every lesbian out there- you have shown the world that gays arent lepers, and can have the same level of commercial success as our hetero counterparts. you have shown us how beautiful a relationship can be- regardless of gender, and how happy marriage can make two people. because of these reasons, i have named you my fairy gaymother.

another reason ive bestowed such a prestigious title on your shoulders was because you and my girl, oprah, are now best friends. i thought it would be fun if we all hung out sometime- not that ive invested a significant amount of time planning out the 'playdates' that i know will never happen. pfft, no way, that would be borderline creepy, and thats not the way the relationship should go between gay and fairy gaymother. however, if you were ever to stop by the nations capital for say, a weekend getaway with your wife and new gal pal oprah, im letting you know that i have an itinerary at the ready for our funfest!

now, fear not- this isnt an awkward love-filled rant on just how amazing you are. while that would be a joy to write, i do have a legitimate reason for writing to you. as my fairy gaymother, its only appropriate that i come to you with questions regarding my gay world. im sick with worry, fairy gaymother. i feel as if oftentimes, i have two lives- my professional life, and my gay world. i look at you as a beacon of hope- you have effortlessly it seems, balanced perfectly the professionalism of a seasoned reporter with the magicaliness (or simply glory, for those of you who dont appreciate my made-up vocabulary) of the lesbian god that you are. HOW DO YOU DO IT?

it hasnt intentionally happened this way, i know the two arent mutually exclusive- and yet i have a hard time combining them. i know why, im scared. how did you become so strong ellen? in the professional world, i dont bring up topics that im oober passionate about, if i feel they are too divisive or too 'gay'. now with that said, i will fiercely defend/disprove/speak up for gay issues if they are brought up- and i really dont have an issue talking about the LBGT community with my coworkers. the issue is more that i dont want to be labeled as that 'gay soapbox girl'- you know the one that at every mildly appropriate time (and every inappropriate time) jumps up on her gay soapboxes and rants for hours about how gay she is, and proud, and everyone needs to know what the fuck is on her agenda.

im proud of who i am.
i am secure in who i am.
but i would also think it was really weird if a heterosexual at work shouted at me, 'im straight'.

i just want everyone to be comfortable. im realistic enough to admit that not everyone supports gays, and even though its an unpopular opinion of mine- i feel that i should respect their opinion (albeit terribly narrow minded) and not force who i am down their throat. all i can do is be a good person, and hope that they see that regardless of who i sleep with- i have a good heart.

in conclusion, i would like to officially congratulate you on being named my fairy gaymother. please understand that its a very dignified position, and im sure you will respect it- as it carries much clout. (ive already taken it upon myself to make a photo of you as my fairy gaymother, and a t-shirt isnt far behind) i also understand that im essentially talking to myself but i hope that one day you actually read my letters- but even if you dont, ellen degeneres will always be my fairy gaymother!

LBGTake care,
ashley

how to get the girls

a lesbian 'must see'
how to get the girls by ArielleIsHamming

im not going to lie, there were a few times when i saw a bit of dyke swagga up in that video!! this girl is hilarious- and its clear she put a great bit of time into making this piece. shes cute, fun, and has an accent id kill for. (and by 'kill' i mean 'submerge myself in an area where that dialect was prevalent and then adapt')

random thought #22

random thought #22
you know, 22 is my lucky number

**i hate to be a bummer, on a monday no less- but in case you havent heard, 'americas gay newspaper', the washington blade is no more. their parent company, windows media, abruptly went out of business- and in addition to the washington blade, the houston voice, the south florida blade, david atlanta magazine and 411 magazine are no longer open for business. saying that this is a tough punch for the gay community, would be putting it mildly. the washington blade has been a fixture in the gay community since 1969, i- along with countless others- hope that the washington blade comes back together in some form or fashion..the gays need their papers!!

GOOD NEWS! dcrtv is reporting the following:
"Tomorrow morning, the staff of the defunct Washington Blade will meet to launch a new publication that does pretty much what the Blade has done/did since 1969 - cover gay Washington. It just won't be called the Blade anymore. "The staff is united," says current/former Blade editor Kevin Naff. "We're all together. Our first meeting for our new venture is tomorrow morning." The staffers don't yet have a name for the newspaper. The Blade as a standalone publication runs a profit; however, not enough of a profit to keep its debt-troubled parent company, Window Media, in the black. According to Naff, Window is filing for Chapter 7 bankruptcy protections, which means that it's ceasing operations. Staffers were given till 3 PM today to pack up. When asked if the company was handling the shutdown in a professional manner, Naff responded, "I should probably not comment.""

**this video made me cry laughing at work, too bad i already have this sort social commentary running through my head. i know its probably just me- but i put gay spins on things all the time, makes me feel at home.


** i really do love the written word, i often lose myself whilst reading little quotes, thoughts, or anything really. today, was no exception...i think its important to note, if you keep yourself open to profound life statements, you would be surprised at how often the universe talks to you. the world is more a fortune cookie than you think. i firmly believe if you are awake to it- the world tells you what you need to know everyday.
regardless, i wanted to share a few things i read today, that really stuck with me:
"the best time to find yourself is when you’re lost."
so true...inspired me to run away this weekend- even if just for a day, everyone should run away with just themselves, get a little lost, cry a bit, get terrified you will never find your way, then cue the lights- and bam! momentary enlightenment!! maybe im oversimplifying it bit, but after reading this i was moved so much as to say to myself, 'you need a little you time...only you...go get lost and be contemplative'.
"you can either step back and compose yourself. or embrace it. both work out just fine"
i know im not alone when i sit and doubt myself. its human to wonder, 'is this normal' 'am i doing this right?' 'am i acting out of line', i mean where would we be if it werent for us constantly question the world around us, and within us? but at the end of the day- life will continue to rage around us, regardless of whether or not we made the right choices, whether or not you were acting too passionately or too impulsively. no matter what we do- the world around us stops for no one...so either way you choose to go about it, life will undoubtedly go on- so rest easy.
"go forth"
sure, its from a commercial (which all lead back to the man) but that doesnt make the message any less powerful. i think its strength is in its simplicity- its the answer to any question really, i guess you have to be walking around in my head for that to be true...but i think it is so. its almost as if to say to ANY question posed- why dont you go and find out? why not go forth and discover the answer on your own. i assure you, that will be more of a help than me handing it to you.

** i dont generally voice my opinions about people that i cant stand- however, i can no longer tolerate heidi montag and spencer pratt...heres why. no, sadly that photo is indeed no joke, and those two peaches are hawking their shit where ever they can. a book? i know a lot of fabulous writers who are very much struggling, and yet- sarah p and these two admitted 'famewhores' get a book deal no problems?
what a world...what a world...i just tell myself 'it takes all kinds ashley, you are no better or no worse than they are'.

2012 state of mind

2012
state of mind

when compiled effectively, the evidence seems pretty dismal- it would seem as if we are indeed all headed for certain death come december of 2012. so, its only logical that we all bend over and kiss each others fannies goodbye.

whats that? im being too rash and you dont agree? you think that its all a coincidence?

well, i wont exactly say i disagree. ill give you doomsday believers one thing- the mayans really do make you think its possible, and then coupled with the countless other philosophers who backup the mayans claims- it really does seem to be a lock we are all going down in a ball of flames. then reason kicks in and you ask yourself, 'really, two years from now the earth will no longer sustain human life? thats lame, im never going to able to get all those sweet AARP discounts! and dont even get me started on how fun i imagine 2013 will be. so all of it will just be gone?' both arguments have valid points, but it doesnt really matter WHAT you choose to believe, because 2012 is coming whether or not we believe it will bring with it the end of days (and possibly some neat plagues, maybe the earth will spew fire- WHO KNOWS!)

what i do know for certain, is that regardless of what we think might happens, no one really knows and thats why ive adopted a '2012 state of mind'. brilliant, if i do say so myself! it eases both my rational and irrational beliefs with one fell swoop!! in this state one does in fact believe that there is a real possibility that the world will end (while also firmly believing that the claims of destruction are almost laughable) and those living in this state along with me will live their lives as if we were all at deaths door.

not that we should need an excuse to live life to the fullest and unapologetically, but this is the perfect reason to kick your own life into high gear! what better reason to go out and experience the world than the possibility of total annihilation? if nothing else, we can thank the mayans for helping us all to pause and consider what it would be like if we were all gone. i feel, they also force us to take a look inward at ourselves- i find myself asking: what impact have you made in this life? whos lives have you touched? are you proud of who you are? have you experienced things that bring you to life? did you do all you could while on this earth?

i have two short years to take my life wherever i want. after that, its either death or keep on livin'. while im crossing my fingers for the latter, if death comes a'knockin for us all i know that ill be happy with who i am, who ive been, and what i did on this earth. in the meantime, i will work tirelessly in all my endeavors, i will love those around me with all my heart, i wont be afraid to take risks (albeit calculated, comon we cant just go willy nilly now), and above all i will stop at nothing to try and accomplish all of my dreams by december 21st, 2012.

best case scenario- shits cool, and the mayans were just clowning around.
worst case scenario- we all die, but proud of the lives we led.
i say- WIN/WIN!
__________

for those who are interested in more information about 2012- im not ashamed to admit that i have a love for the national geographic channel and an even stronger love for 'investigation discovery'. a while back, i watched 'decoding the past: doomsday 2012', its most defiantly a great piece (it does a fabulous job of making you believe its going down) but i will warn you- even though im sure they tried to remain unbiased in the episode, with a title like 'doomsday 2021' its pretty clear which direction they were leaning.

happy veterans day!

happy veterans day
also, happy wednesday

random thought #21

random thoughts #21

**lesbian, queer, transgender, bisexual, breeder- it doesnt matter how you identify, if you have that glorious estrogen running in your veins and that precious uterus aching monthly then you must be at the ready for baby fever. it spreads faster than h1n1 or swine, and has been crippling hoards of women for generations. ive noticed it lately in my friends, it starts off innocently enough with comments such as, 'aw, look how adorable that baby is'. it slowly transforms into your friends dropping the 'i want one' line when seeing particularly cute kids. and it ends with you wrestling a turkey baster full of semen out of your girlfriends hands at 3am.
in all honesty, im sure im on a boat with this thought, but i really do feel that people are chatting about children more often lately. i have nothing against kids (thats a lie, nothing makes me want to die inside more than a child with snot crust all over their nose, and lord knows what embedded under their nails) but i know that its not a bridge i want to cross yet in my life.
i know that when i do have children, i will devote my life to them and right now i dont feel like im equipped to be the absolute best parent in the world (talk about understatement, i still think that a dinosaur sleeping bag is a sound investment).

**i read this online, and felt it was too good not to post:
"90 people get the swine flu and everybody wants to wear a mask.
a million people have AIDS and nobody wants to wear a condom."
now sure, i know that mostly ladies read my blog..and of those ladies, most of them are sleeping with other ladies and thus a condom would be a bit much, however- washington dc has the highest rate of HIV and AIDS, so i thought it was worth a mention.

**halloween went great, here are a few pieces of photograpic perfection from that weekend:

my gorgeous friends, emily the deadhead and alisha the chick from the end of 'dude wheres my car'...hail zoltan indeed!

samula the kickball player, my girl donna as pikachu (way to reinforce stereotypes!), and my friend danielle as part of H1N1

just a little something special that you would only find at a party chalked full of hot lesbots

my friend danielle and i, getting RAWRdy! ok. that was a terrible pun, but still- i bet it made u smile a little.

and finally, this photo does nothing but confirm that im a creepy fella indeed. (but you are welcome none the less)

** the DC sniper was put to death today. i was reading different online blogs/facebook status', and frankly i was shocked at the level of anger people still carried with them towards the two snipers. i was in the area when the sniper was around. i suffered just as much as anyone else who wasnt directly touched by them. i was forced to run in zig zags home from school. i was terrified that my parents were going to be sniped away while pumping gas.

we all lived with that fear, but this anger? what does that solve? i consulted my best friend jill hannes because she is the only person i know who can speak and enlighten me no matter what the topic. i told her that while i felt justice was served, it was hard for me to be happy that someone was killed. yes, i know first hand the amount of pain he caused this area and that he robbed the nation of the security of the mundane however i dont feel its my place to say who lives and dies.
jill reminded me that the sniper did just that- chose who lived and died on a whim, he tried to play 'god', got caught, and now has to face the music.
even so- i have a hard time wrapping my mind around glorifying any form of untimely death, justified or not. i do hope that those who thought the execution would bring them closure, found some solace tonight.

** i cleaned my room this weekend and am getting rid of four boxes of clothes- this was, sad to say, EXTREMELY tough for me. im the type of person who can NEVER wear something, but when i hold it in my hands i feel as if i can do anything with it. i can admit im a thrift store impulse buyer, the only way i dont go overboard and invest a whopping seven dollars on fun things like dino sleeping bags is if my girlfriend comes to the thrift store with me.
if you are a hardcore thrifter like i am, you know that when going to a big store its best to go in with a lot of patience and an open mind...my girlfriend does NOT shop like this. in fact, when i bring her along i often end up feeling terribly guilty and leave before my gameplan has been completed because she literally stands there- thats IT. being the empathetic peach that i am all i want to do is make her happy, so then i say 'lets go', which of course turns into a pissing contest because she doesnt want to let me know that shes upset so she pretends she actually does want to be there and then im mad she wont just admit that she hates shopping and she doesnt share my love for all things thrifty.
ahh, love.


<3 u sunshine