Friday, March 26, 2010

miss nice guy

miss nice guy *
*which is gender neutralization of a generally gender charged word
because i've learned some are easily offended-
and you know i like to keep you happy.

everyone has got each other figured out lately. i mean, that must be the case considering people have no issue telling others how to fix their lives. i'm all about growth- i'm all for hearing new ideas and implementing them into my life if i feel it's appropriate to do so. i think it's important for every one of us to swallow our pride sometimes and admit that we have lessons to learn from each other. just because someone challenges who you are, doesn't mean they are attacking you- often times, they are simply trying to help you.

as of late i've tried to really listen to the advice people around me are giving. i took a break from writing and simply observed. when asked how i could improve my life, i heard an endless array of answers from "never wear your silver metallic fanny-pack out in public ever again" (pfft, yah right) to "stop being that girl who doesn't pick up the phone, but will immediately text you back saying 'hey, what's up'". (to defend myself, my phone is always on silent due to work, so i might not have heard it ring. now, if i did feel it vibrating and chose to text you afterwards versus picking up the phone- don't be so salty my little cup of fruit, i still want to interact with you. i just genuinely don't enjoy talking on the phone...just add it to the list of borderline socially reclusive traits that i posses.)

what i heard time and time again had to do with my attitude: "stop being so damn nice"; "get your head out of the clouds"; "stop wearing rose-colored glasses"; "don't allow people to push you around"; "you need to wise up to the world, jive turkey." ok, no one called me jive turkey...but the point expressed was clear- in order to be more successful in life, one shouldn't be so nice.

i fought the urge to feel as if people were questioning who i am fundamentally and admitted that there have been times that my optimistic disposition has led me to some social challenges. 'social challenges' is the term i use to classify the bullshit i've been through with people. it has a nicer ring than, 'fuckin dramatic bullshit', don't you think? i've walked into situations that, in hindsight, i knew were doomed from the get go. i've been burned, i've hurt people, i've been mistreated, i've taken people for granted, but never once have i allowed any of that to make me jaded.

that would be the biggest disappointment, were i ever to become hardened and jaded. i've made it through life this long without falling into the cynical cycle of assuming the worst at ever bend, i would hate to think i could reasonably go through life thinking everyone was an ass. however, an even greater disappointment would be to dismiss valid advice.

to my cynical sisters: i'll admit, you are right- being nice doesn't always get you further in life. my friendly ways have caused me to hold onto things that i should have let go; it has caused me to place trust in people who have thrown it and my emotions into the trash; i've stood steadfast behind those who were nowhere to be found when i needed them most. in the workworld my authentic nature has given those who are threatened by me the false notion that i am easily pushed aside. in the past, i've been written off as 'a sweet girl who does what she's asked', when in actuality i'm trying to be the best worker i can be. simply put, being nice opens you up to being burned.

while being trusting and believing in the goodness of people can come back to bite you in the ass, it can also expand your horizons and introduce you to new world. i'll tread lightly and cautiously on this earth while i'm here, but i won't allow my past or anyone else's mar the beauty of today. i'm a bit more cautious with who i trust, but to change who i am intrinsically and become anything other than a friendly, genuine, sassball of sunshine just isn't in me and i'm ok with being miss nice guy...


  1. oh, thank goodness, Someone else who doesn't like talking on the phone! Who the hell do I want to talk to at 730/800 in the morning? I don't even want to talk to The Man that early.
    Coffee shop? Sure. Meet me there. We'll have cake, gossip, and improm~tutu cappuccino Karaoke!
    I like to imagine that when someone pushes me around to much, they know the minute I mean business, for they too can hear the song Kung Fu playing in My head.
    You just keep on being the sassball of sunshine, Yellow's my favorite color! "}

  2. @kelly ann- thank god i'm not alone. i think my biggest frustration is when people call 'just because'. that's a romanticized idea, b/c to me i hear 'i have nothing to say, and i'm wasting all of our time'...however, i will say there are a handful of people that i do talk with just to talk.