Wednesday, August 11, 2010


unlike it's medical sounding counterpart, will not kill you

fen-phen has been linked to cardiovascular disease, hypertension, diabetes, high cholesterol, sleep deprivation, and cancer; femme-femme relationships have been linked to aesthetically pleasing make-out photos, an immediate doubling of ones wardrobe and praise from frat boys around the world. bringing nothing but joy into the world, you would think that femme-femme relationships would be encouraged by the masses but it would seem as if things are stacked against the flirty flipped hair of femmes.

the biggest supporter of femme-femme lezzyiasons goes to the porn industry. i guess 'supporter' is awfully kind of me, 'exploiter' would be more accurate. the lesbian porn community to a heterosexual is chalk full of bodaciously bouncy, rock-of-love rejects (except for that one who confirmed she was in porn, she's no reject). the girls often times are uncomfortable or stiff; their movements clearly dictated by a man who wants a sexy shot. now in mainstream porns defense, i will admit to both watching and enjoy such filth from time to time. the shots are indeed sexy but as a woman i know that she can't possibly be driving pleasure from a straight girl, playing gay, poking at her vagina like a gynecologist.

it's little wonder why femme-femme relationships have trouble being taken seriously. once, while out at the bar, a friend turned to me and pointed out some ladies across the room. "look at the one in the hat- hellloo loverr" she whispered in my direction while eyes locked on our new friends. i chimed in, "i'll take the one in the tank top." her head spun around and she looked at me confused, "but ashley- she's a super femme and you are..well, you are pretty fuckin' femmey."

i rolled my eyes, not like i haven't heard that bullshit before- i just don't get it. for one, i classify myself as 'quirky' and 'unique', not 'femme'. two,why is it so challenging for even those within the gay community to recognize the validity of a relationship, regardless of how the two dress. some argue that it's jarring seeing two lipstick lesbians in an embrace...that the mind wants to call them sisters, or drunk party girls. conversely, people are also uncomfortable with two butch ladies dating. are the only acceptable match-ups femme and butch? can we not cross lines without fear of jeers? i'm sorry but when did gender roles become the mainstay in gay relationships? do gay men face this same unspoken scrutiny?

femmes are just as much lesbians as dykes on bikes, the leather is just distributed differently. there are a lot of "party-lesbians" that are tainting the waters for the rest of us. flaunting their sexuality (or their claimed sexuality of the moment) and demanding attention from all who will give it, these ladies are living their life and i applaud them for it. however, my frustration comes from the fact that i have to defend myself for their attention seeking actions. much like bisexuals constantly have to defend their sexuality, femme couples hear the all too often "you two are too pretty to be gay" or "you guys are sisters, right?".

lipstick lovin' ladies- i say, date whom you please and follow your heart. people can shove you into a box but it's your choice whether or not you stay in it. to all of my less-than-femme-sisters, i got your back too...we are all in this together. it doesn't matter what color the m&m- they all are stuffed to the brim with chocolate. so what if i date butch ladies? who cares if my tastes include hyper-feminine women? there is more than enough love in this world for everyone to be happy.


  1. Hi there!
    Well, you just reminded me how badly I need a date.
    Just a date, nothing fancy as lipstick or butch, an average cute and smart girl. Whatever flavor she comes in... :)

  2. I'm a middle of the road kind of gal. Tonight I might rock a well tied tie and perfectly polished wingtips but don't put it past me to show up tomorrow in a halter dress and heels with my hair flat ironed to perfection. My girlfriend is quite femme and nothing does it for me more than when she wears little lace tanks under her low cut tees. Here's to you being you and making no apologies for who you are attracted to!

  3. hahaha I seem to confuse the hell out of most people. The usual reaction I get is {._o}--- you like ... but you ... aren't you ... don't ... whoah ... *blank, uncomfortable stare*

    It's funny, sometimes, but mostly annoying.
    The way I see it is - We are who we are and we like who we like. No special rules for anyone.

  4. They make pretzel M&M's and peanut filled M&M's too.... takes all kinds !

  5. I was so upset tonight after a long few months of hearing nothing but "give up on trying to find a femme and just look for a butch " as a femme myself I would like to say thank you so much for this it really just made my day to think that there are others out there like myself and i am not going crazy :)