Wednesday, August 4, 2010

rant: shoe vs sock

shoe vs sock
as far as foot housing is concerned, i generally opt for the simple cotton sock. all too often people neglect this classic, dare i say perfect, covering for heels and toe alike. shoes don't provide the uniform comfort of a sock. any enclosure comprised completely of fabric that cradles my foot, not unlike baby jesus in a manger, is a-ok in my book. tightly bound, secure, safe- socks truly provide feet with the luxury they deserve. sure, i'll give you that skater shoes feel lovely on the tops of my feet. (with their giant pillowy tongues it comes as no surprise that lesbians love DCs). the soles of a shoe however, is what forces it behind the sock as supreme paw cloak.

the foot is placed in an interesting juxtaposition when harnessed in a shoe. the more tender 'top of foot region' is worshiped and caressed by a gentle lick of a shoe tongue. even if the tongue where absent, as with sandals, the foot will either kiss the sky or play peek-a-boo with some laces. conversely, the sole of a shoe, is treated as the literal underbelly of ones soul. it lives in dark often dank conditions. after years of at worst abuse, at best an acknowledgement via pedicure the bottom side of the foot is kicked one final blow. in addition to shouldering the burden of supporting you or me, the bottom is full of bacteria. creepy...infectious...nasty...ok- i'm going to gag- germs.

admittedly, i've always been acutely aware of sensation on my little feetsies...err- they aren't little. i've got some flappers down there, 9.5US (but i've notice recently they have shrunk, i'll keep you posted on this as i'm not sure if i'm devolving into stumps). everything my feet touch- i feel. when i was very young it was amazing- i loved nothing more than dragging my feet through crisp, dewy, mildly-firm grass; my family dubbed it "carpet grass". but it was always weird during the summertime. typically this would be my afternoon:
running around outside;
kicking off my shoes;
stepping in mud;
freaking out it was poop;
being assured it was not;
freaking out poop was mixed in the mud;
think about what animal pooped there thousands of years ago;
now KNOW i'm standing in poop- prehistoric or otherwise;
hose off feet;
put on socks.
socks always clean up the mess.

i'm not ashamed to say that i take a disinfecting wipe to my feet every night, even if immediately after the shower. call me ocd or call me sensible but feet and hands are no different! i just think of all the things feet can get into- it's downright scary. i know i might be alone in this tirade and if that's the case- so be it.
feet are friends...not giant breeding grounds for infections- and SOCKS RULE.

rant complete.


  1. That was an excellent and completely accurate rant on all counts!

  2. You, my friend, are a complete nut !