who's that lady?

who's that lady?
...and why can't i remember her name?!

clutching my arm with all of her strength, she dug her nails into my arm- she wasn't playing around. the curvaceous brunette hurriedly leaned her lips towards my ear and unleashed something breathy and hot. "what's that baby? well aren't you precious, get on over here!" i responded with a smirk.

with that her body lurched back from mine- instead of our eyes meeting, glitter falling from the ceiling, and having a choir of inner city youths sing a 'glee inspired' song in our honor; she just looked at me like i was bat shit crazy. actually, it was less a look of 'you're crazy' and more a look of 'you didn't hear one word i said, but rather than just say that you will pretend you heard what i said and carry on an entirely different conversation based off that'- my girlfriend can say so much with a mere glance.

violently wrenching her neck around a la the exorcist, she looked back over her shoulder. "she's coming- help!" she shouted in a whisper. i could see the woman she was referencing meandering over our way, she looked familiar...no, i've definitely see her before. as she came within earshot, a doe eyed danielle looked at me and mouthed, "WHAT IS HER NAME?!"

it's happened to the best of us; a heavy fog rolls in- your mind is shootin' blanks- the tip of your tongue is yielding nothing but 'oh crap, what's her name!' now sure, there are times when it's appropriate to be brutally honest and state simply, "i'm sorry, what's your name again?" but there are other times when you have already met them several times overs and forgetting their name consistantly gets downright embarrassing.

you face a fork in the road each time ones name escapes you- you either find some covert way of figuring out their name (best done in club and party situations, when recruiting friends easily done) or you refer to them in generalities until the conversation is over. i personally have used both methods and found varying success. my standby used to be 'how do you spell that- i like letters'. i do not suggest that method. all that did was make people think i had a learning disability because i was asking for spelling lessons for challenging words like 'S-A-M' or 'K-A-T-E'. however, i still stand steadfast in my argument of- you never really know how to spell any one's name anymore. any simple name can be made complex by some 'creative' parents who thought adding a few vowels would really dazzle future employers.

but what about those who you do know their name but you don't know them? in our ever shrinking facebook-friendly world, it isn't uncommon for my friends and i to go to an event and be swimming in sea of familiar poon. it seems like i see more faces that i know but have absolutely no idea who they are. whether it's because facebook parked your face in the upper right corner of my home screen sating i should 'know you' or because lesbians just have a knack for always flocking together and our social circles are incredibly well connected.

those i see frequently are appropriately dubbed the regulars. not because i regularly see them at our favorite bar. not because i see them regularly at our favorite club. not because i see them regularly at our favorite event. but because i see them at ALL of those locations. pride, ladies jello wrestling nights, equality rallies, drag queen races in dupont, slut nights, drag king shows, prop 8 rallies- you name it, they have are there.

it's how i imagine life must be for former real world cast members when they meet other former real world cast members. it's an unnatural process, knowing someone before meeting them. well, it's only an unnatural process if you aren't a stalker or one that often has restraining orders slapped on them. it's common knowledge that mtv's real world does not attempt to put people in their best light. that means when meeting other former real worlder's for the first time, there is no need to exchange pleasantries! who really needs them after you have already witnessed each others emotional breakdown on national television?

real worlder's have access to each others lives prior to a friendship taking root, much like the regulars i see out and about. we recognize each others faces, we know the clubs and events the others like to frequent, we know of each other. we might even go so far as to be facebook friends but never actually interact. i liken it to knowing your surroundings, it is wise to be an astute lil lesbot. these girls, while i don't always know much about them personally, i do enjoy seeing their faces time and time again. there is something comforting about the regulars that makes it feel like home.

when i think about it on a broader spectrum, it warms my heart to feel like there is a strong community in DC/MD/VA when it comes to the ladies. seeing so many familiar faces, faces that i can't remember the accompanying name to, having beautiful amazing friends...it may sound trivial to some, but lesbians will tell you- girls are illusive. it's rare you find a club that caters to women and brings them in consistently but they are doing just that all around me. so while we might not know each other's names or have actually met, to those strangers i see on the regular- it's lovely to live life alongside you.