Thursday, April 29, 2010

guilty pleasure, uncouth treasure

guilty pleasure
uncouth treasure

i have a confession to make; a guilty pleasure of sorts. it's incredibly embarrassing when i think about it from a logical, mature standpoint. my rational side knows it's highly inappropriate and degrading but damn it if i don't love a disrespectful ditty. nothing gets my gears going on the dance floor like lyrical gems such as, open up her legs then filet mignon that pussy.

i know for a fact i'm not alone in this admittedly hypocritical belief. i have scores of lady friends- young and old- who coyly nod 'yes' when asked if they tap a toe or two to these mildly misogynistic jams. now, in the interest of being impartial (or as impartial as one can be on an opinion based post), it's also worth mentioning that numerous women thumb their noses at these songs and find them disgusting. you most certainly won't find them downloading them offline, much less paying for them in stores. the baby feminist in me cringes when these songs turn into club anthems for intrinsically, i believe that women should indeed be respected and treated as equals. but the fact still remains, i'm lookin' for a dime that's top of the line- cute face slim waist with a big behind.

before you shake your fists wildly, don your activist hat and begin penning your 'way to set the women's rights movement back 25 years' letters, know that i wouldn't make such a blasphemous statement against women unless i had some reason to support my claims.

in recent years there has been a movement of women who are out to 'reclaim their sexuality'. when i first became aware of this movement, the mantra was intriguing. i like being a lady; i support the rights of my fellow females; and while i've never felt like someone commandeered my sexuality per say, i'm down for reclaiming it! in theory, reclaiming your sexuality is great. many therapists encourage women to own their bodies and subsequently their sexual desires. this proves to be a tremendous help to rape victims in particular, who often suffer with a laundry list of sexual issues post-trauma. i have absolutely no gripes with those who 'reclaim their sexuality' in a healthy and productive manner.

my issue with this mentality comes from another group of women; those who assert their sexuality by flaunting it indiscriminately and in the process completely undermining the whole point of reclaiming it in the first place. under the guise of being strong-willed and sexually confident these women belittle themselves by accepting a role as a sexual object. you no doubt have heard of those ladies who try to 'turn the tables' on their male counterparts by joining them in an emotionless take on relationships.

please don't confuse my stance on these women as me saying i don't support sex outside the confines of a relationship. i most certainly can get behind a more liberal take on sexuality; i even support casual sex between consenting adults . as i grow older i understand more and more how people can float through life unattached to another person. it's not wrong or morally corrupt, it's just a different viewpoint than my own. i just don't understand how one can claim that they are owning their sex by giving it away for free and treating it as if it's nothing special.

if some can go so far as to claim that by devaluing our sex we are in some way harnessing it's energies, then i don't think it would be too brazen of me to state that i think these horribly offensive songs are simply misunderstood. what we once classified as objectifying language is in actuality- well, ok...drop down on all fours like a dog, now i'm lookin at yo ass 'fore i hit it does prove to be a bit of a challenge to spin in a positive manner. ..a challenge? yes. impossible? no.

see, what the classics such as: 'me and my bitch' from biggie; 'jane fonda' from mickey avalon; 'i can tell' from 504 boys; and pretty much anything out of lil wayne's mouth, have in common is their unquestionable love of women. sure, they may use some depersonalizing terms in reference to us ladies but to me their intentions are clear. it's obvious that these men are spitting licks about women not because they hate them, but because it's whats on their mind. the female form is an irresistible one. one that has the power to burn an image in your mind. a form that is worthy of praise, accolades, and commemorative songs. these men are merely glorifying the majesty that is a woman.

the challenge isn't in reading between the lines in order to uncover something sweet amongst the bitch and hoe references; the challenge is in changing ones perspective in regards to these songs. upon hearing, police pull me over- they don't write no ticket, all between my legs tryna lick it, it would be easy to be offended- it's harder to admit it's just a song and isn't worth getting upset about. do i honestly believe these disrespectful lyrics are worthy of high praise? most certainly not, but i won't deny that i enjoy the beat and find the words hypnotic.

now that the weight of this guilty pleasure is off of my shoulders i implore you to listen to the following uncouth treasures (as compiled by friends and myself):
*~ bitch is a bitch- NWA
*~ lil freak- usher
*~ raindrops- jeremieh (to be honest, i just like the video because i enjoy the way the women are shaped, the lyrics of the song are actually quite gross when you think of what sort of raindrops he's referring too- or i'm just a perve who took it there)
*~ pull my hair- ying yang twins (honest to god, one of the sexiest- nastiest songs around...i can't get enough)
*~ pussy- jackie o (you have to do some digging to find this gem, as she released a more PC version called 'nookie'. this song must be played on high blast in your car...or would be fun in a gynos office)
*~ i can tell- 504 boys
*~ so rich, so pretty- mickey avalon (or any song mickey does, to be frank.)
*~my neck, my back- khia
*~smack my bitch up- prodigy


  1. I love rap just as much as you do-- check out David Banner's "Play" for one of my favorite sexy misogyny jams-- but these men DO NOT LOVE WOMEN. They love domination, conquest, hedonism, and social status. Their words, and more importantly their behavior, is nothing more than complete and utter objectification (dehumanization). Yes, women/SEXUALITY are a huge part of their identities and their street cred. But please, don't say that it's love for women that motivates these songs. Their motivations ARE clear: tom make money. Our value lies ONLY in what *we* can do for *them:* cooking, cleaning, and fucking. But mostly fucking.

    Btw, I absolutely agree that "i just don't understand how one can claim that they are owning their sex by giving it away for free and treating it as if it's nothing special." That's called SELF-objectification and there's nothing RECLAIMED about it. Cause they still aren't OWNING it.

  2. @undercoverpunk- i think you put it perfectly...their motivation isn't their love of women- guess that's just my idealistic side trying desperately to hold on to the positive!
    however, it is fair to say i love these songs because i love women- and i love glorifying them (in admittedly objectifying ways) from time to time.
    i want to believe that these men (and an increasing number of women artists as well) have their heart in the right place but i know that's not the case.
    thanks for popping in- i just checked out your page, after reading simply the 'about' section i'm hooked. i love what you have over there!

  3. Oooh, hey Ashley! You're fast! And yeah, I'm pretty hardcore about my [woman love+politics]. ;) I love rap and women, but rap does not love women.

    Anyways, just this week I attempted to explore whether our shared LOVE of the female body is "objectification" in the traditional sense; and if not, WHY NOT? Cause I am way into sex with female bodies. Waaaay! But how does that make me any different than, you know, Ludacris? JUST because I'm a woman myself? I don't think that simply owning your own a vagina is conclusive evidence that someone is incapable of objectification. BUT I can't stop loving women!! That would be wrong. Soooooo. Wrong.
    "Shake that ass! Show me what you're working with!"

  4. you are blowing my mind! i understand EXACTLY what you are saying and was grappling with the same paradox prior to writing this post. it struck me while i was singing along with mickey avalon and i realized if a fella dare spit those same lines at me- i'd be both horrified and offended. BUT i wouldn't have the same issue where a woman to say the same things. pretty much the definition of hypocrite..*hangs head in shame*
    i try desperately hold onto this delusional notion that a woman intrinsically empathize with other women and thus are incapable of objectifying them. if for no other reason than i know in my heart that when i sing along with these men that i mean no disrespect AT ALL to women... but by my support of their music i am disrespecting them? my head hurts...

  5. I'm not sure if there's a distinction solid enough to articulate (yet?), but I have personally experienced misogyny practiced by lesbians-- I am firmly convinced that it is possible for women to objectify each other. But how do we TELL the difference between THAT and loving, aesthetic appreciation(which is how I prefer to think of myself, naturally!)? UGH! Yes, it hurts the head very much. I need a cocktail. ;)