the other day my friend and i got into a conversation about picking-up and hitting-on girls...
friend: "pick up lines are bullshit- you aren't really saying anything meaningful. i just walk up to a woman and tell her she's beautiful."
me: "but telling her she's beautiful is arguably just as full of shit as saying 'have you sprayed your pants with windex...because i can see myself in them.' it just doesn't pack as zany or crass a punch...and sometimes crass is key."
friend: "i know you wouldn't seriously use a pick-up line on a girl."
me: "true- but i must admit, i have used them in an ironic fashion once or twice."
friend: "why do i feel like you've done that to me while i was drunk?"
me: "because i have."
friend: "bitch. well then how do you approach a girl if you think pick-up lines are trite and calling her beautiful is bullshit?"
me: "i tell her something real..."
friend: "that's almost poetic of you-"
me: "...via text. girls make me nervous in real life."
friend: "ahh, there's that ashley charm!!"
after our talk ended my thoughts continued to swarm around the idea of physical beauty being something worth complimenting. we can't take ownership of our looks, our clothes or our cars. all we own is who we are, the choices we make, and the life we live. when we say someone is beautiful, or conversely when we say someone is ugly- what are we really saying about THIS PERSON? nothing. if you are doing anything you're giving them your opinion and nothing else.
this whole notion of worshiping beautiful people, or even idolizing them does nothing but pull our focus in a meaningless direction. we aren't showering them with accolades for anything worthwhile that they've done. we aren't stroking them for changing the world. we are praising them for being pretty- which they arguably had nothing to do with.
does this mean i don't wear make-up when i go out or take part in a consumer driven society? no- not at all...i do all of those things and on top of that i do seek out partners that i find appealing physically. while beauty is subjective, that doesn't mean that it means absolutely nothing to me. just as i can recognize the attractiveness of someone physically, i can listen to their words and watch their mannerisms to see if internally that beauty is mirrored.
i'd rather have someone tell me that i have a rich and colorful mind over having them tell me i'm hot. that leads me to believe that they are actually listening to me- or better yet, we have made some real connection. that's what life is all about to me- connecting. hell, that's the whole purpose of my blog.