how are you supposed to react when the one person you never thought to doubt betrays you so viciously you fear it may leave you permanently jaded?
how do you remain positive when your world screams, "people are selfish and not to be trusted...and because you seem to not want to believe that- lets ensure you do by completely dismantling everything you've ever held sacred"?
how can i look back at this time and see anything other than the utter devastation this has crumbled into. the once idyllic landscape we worked as a unit to maintain has become overgrown with thorns and brush. the pristine river that cut through the backyard runs as black as oil. it's been transformed from a peaceful pasture to the slut-peppered-party-of-a-lifetime...and my invitation has somehow gotten lost.
i hate the moment in a breakup when you realize the one you loved (and arguably still do) is now a stranger. when all the empathy drains from their eyes and their motivations turn inward. while you sit at home and weep over the possibility of hurting them, they are out unapologetically living their life.
you have regressed to little more than a blip on their radar screen.
you are nothing more than one of thousands of flakes floating around in their snow-globe.
you cannot be friends because they are sleeping with your 'friends'
you cannot hang out with your friends because they are friends with the friend your ex is now laying with...biblically.
"i thought of you the whole time" are unspeakably harsh words...they should be forbidden.
nothing stings like being the last to know.
nothing feels like being purposefully left in the dark by all whom you trust.
you have to move out.
you are no longer important.
watching the one who once cradled your heart in their hands rebound, sucks more.