nivation

nivation

i am
bloodshot
wind whipped

tattered

a n c h o r e d.

.:another moonlit walk:.
tonight we flirt
oh my moon, i've missed you
tomorrow i'll regret our dance
momentarily replaced
with sanity
never. just a brief interlude.

awake, conscious
seeing e v e r y tick
walking two steps behind myself
watching her
inside her head i'm perched
i am a bird
wanting to return.
"let me out. i cant breathe. help"

feeling e v e r y tock

dig deeper

collapse and retreat

small of my back

twisted, gnarled

glitter mountains- swirling vortex

mounting.
summit.
victory...short lived.

immediately break the top layer

sink into

t h o u g h t s-

never alone-

with my t h o u g h t s.

curse you chione!

see him- see him

homeless, half blind

teeth chattering
nonsensical gibberish tumbling
his lips
stealing my chap stick
my lifeline, now your prized paragon

a strangers room

my lips

the loneliest organ

"doctor, there is no coronary and carotid pressure"

bleed out-

mind and body, crave

refuel.
demand
rigidity, return!

i need you

arms o u t s t r e t c h e d on a bed
it's too far to reach
my gaze- aimless
without your eyes
to transfix me.
d r i f t around like snow
trust placed with the wind

f i n a l l y h o m e . . . h o l d m e .