random thought #25

random thought #25
because my line of thinking wasn't erratic enough

• so you want to know a sad, sobering truth? no one writes letters any more. i suppose if you dont enjoy writing, this would be less of an issue for you- but as i very much appreciate the power of the written word this is a devastating revelation for me. dont get me wrong, there are still pockets of people who hand write a letter, put postage on it, and place it lovingly in the mailbox (my best friend, jill hannes, being one of them). but it would seem an overwhelming portion of people consider 'tweeting', 'texting', and 'facebook chat' the way to go when it comes to communication.
  
  its not shocking that i have a problem with this. i still see writing as having the capability of be one of the most beautiful and emotive art forms. did people stop painting because it was more effective and easier to just use the computer? no way! there is a depth and a realness that cant be captured via a few mouse clicks. so if we can accept that, why is it so hard to say, 'i know that its a bit archaic, but everyone likes receiving mail- especially something with a personalized, warm, wordy, center.'
  as we are in a new year, and we are almost forced to swallow 'its the time of change' pill, i've decided to write more letters. im going to set up a PO box this week, in hopes that someday i have a few penpals..worst case scenario- i start mailing shit to myself to make a point.
  the last pen pal i had was in second grade. she was in germany and kept sending me 'candy' that my mother would always confiscate, as she said it was 'poison' because it traveled over international waters. (if nothing else, you have got to admire the commitment she has to her irrational fears) i found out later it was a kinder egg, and now i harbor resentment towards my mother for keeping these delicious treats away from baby ashley.


• my friend kate, from lezzismore, writes her own music. we were skyping the other day and she mentioned a song she had been working on called, 'personal ad'. she played a bit for me and i said, 'the moment you upload that, i want to repost it- thats hilarious!'
  
  well- she posted it, and now i'm living up to my end of the bargain. (don't forget to check out lezzismore, and queerfaqtor, if you are into gay saturated vlogging)
  
  


• while lurking around on the internet i stumbled across an item called 'finger cots'. i was at work so of course my first move was to call my girlfriend- 'guess what i found online!' it's as if i could almost hear her roll her eyes. you see, i am notorious for believing tv infomercials or at least wanting to believe that i can buff all of my hair away using a mitt that looks like it was jacked from kid who was playing catch with velcro paddles. it's not that i'm gullible, because trust me- i don't spend a dime on the crap, it's that im impressed with their undying chants of 'YOU NEED THIS', it's simply incredible to me that it doesn't take much to convince people they need more junk...
  
  but i digress- finger cots, while i'm sure have a valid purpose in this great big world, might as well be called finger condoms. sure, their 'intended usage' is for something small and mechanical- but look at these things! don't you think if they put a little bit of money into aiming for the lesbian market, they may catch a few fish? i'm not sure how offended i'd be if someone felt compelled to slip one of these on prior to a romantic encounter with yours truly, but i do know i'd admire their dedication to cleanliness!
  i mentioned finger cots to my friends and most of them told me i was being perverse, but some were open minded enough to see the lesbian trend of the future: FINGER CONDOMS!
  
  
• sometimes i feel like i live in pee-wee's playhouse. it's not uncommon for me to become hyper attached to a word for a limited period of time (say, an episode), and then every time the word is mentioned streamers come down from the ceiling and everyone screams (in my head).
  the word this week has been fisticuffs. now, this isn't a word that just dances its way effortlessly in and out of your mouth- you really have to commit and do your homework on this one and not because its hard to understand. fisticuffs is another term for fist fight, and its a plural noun. that's all you need to know to use it, but to use it without sounding like you are 80? therein lies the challenge my friends!!
  i've tried, and failed, several times to pepper this into my vocabulary unnoticed...yah, im working on it.
  
  
• i'm not a woman of violence, but i really want nothing more than to punch every lesbian in the throat who says, 'i hate lesbians, they are so dramatic, i'm going to hang out with straight people instead'. i hate to break the news to you guys, but straight people are just as fucked up as we are.