Monday, November 2, 2009

happy full beaver moon

happy full beaver moon
also happy november

im sure you all were expecting me to blog about my halloween adventures. you were perhaps thinking of popping on by the ol' lesbifriends site, see what happened in my neck of the woods this weekend. well guess what? im throwing you a curve ball (its clear by 'curve ball' i actually mean 'ive misplaced my camera cord, and thus cant upload any photos right now') but regardless, today is a day to celebrate something that in some social circles is held in higher regard than halloween.

i know- it feels almost blasphemous to say that any day could in fact be greater than halloween but i learned, its not at all impossible. you see today my favorite coworker came up to me and was mentioning a conversation she had partaken in earlier in the day. an even older coworker had spoken with her of the full moon tonight, and how it was a full beaver moon. she of course sheepishly chuckled and went about her day but not without telling me of such a funny title.

upon hearing this, i did a little research- was it possible that i didnt know about an actual day called 'full beaver moon'?! how had i missed it, all these years- can you even imagine all of the fun, mildly inappropriate yet still intellectually rooted, zingers i could whip out on a day such as this? well friends, i come bearing fabulous news- the farmers almanac indeed does refer to this full moon, as the full beaver moon.

the story behind it, almost supports the legitimacy of the day if for no other reason than the story seems like something a hunter/gatherer would make up in order to remember to set the beaver traps. or the story is- in my humble opinion, a really big letdown- and pretty lame given the awesomeness of the title.

i took it upon myself to write a new fun backstory to go along with the full beaver moon. with the mention of moon, i felt the easiest approach would be that of something vampiric (you bet your sweet ass i just made up that word) however i quickly remembered while i think the vampire genre is fun- i think we can all admit they are a bit over played as of late, subsequently my story does not include any vampires.


full beaver moon
modified definition by ashley

often misinterpreted as the time when the beaver traps were set before the winter so as to have enough pelts to keep the locals warm, 'full beaver moon' in actuality refers to a sight that is rarely seen to those outside of the female race. its not uncommon for lesbians in particular to witness this occurrence, as they both sleep with and posses a full beaver. (beaver, of course a pseudonym for 'vagina' or 'snatchbox' as i prefer to say)
the full beaver moon ocurs only when completely disrobed and a woman then bends over. one will only spot a full beaver moon if standing directly behind said woman when she backs it up.
'a full fanny + snatch shot' is its street term, but this author would never use such crass terms to address the beauitful perfection that is the full beaver moon.


  1. oh my goodnes.. i laughed soo hard at this i snorted. full bever moon. i dont think ill ever forget your deffinition for that special day hahaha
    much love - Jill

  2. hahahaha....i have never heard of a full beaver moon in my life. however, if it does ever come up in future conversations, i will only think of your post.