lesbians cry 'heterosexual'
straight chicks shout 'lesbian'
it seems as if every time a lesbian suffers a set back in love, she instantly jumps to the most rational conclusion- become straight.
(alright- i will also say, it seems as if every time a straight girl suffers a set back in love, she instantly jumps to the most rational conclusion- become a lesbian. and while rare, ive heard several gay men suffer heartbreaks, and they too want to solve their problems. how? become straight of course!)
why is it that we all want to throw up our hands and give up so easily? its one thing to be beaten down by a relationship, but a complete other to denounce our sexuality as a whole. now sure- im taking these peoples statements a bit too literally but for blogs sake im running with this one.
a few years ago a friend of mine claimed she was going to be a-sexual. she had just gotten out of a relationship that was 'emotionally draining' for her (read: she and her ex were an unhealthy combo of crazy, they also resided on different continents for the latter part of their relationship, didnt particularly like each other, they shared a firey temper and both cheated on each other throughout their several month long courtship) she announced that she felt people in general were just too much to deal with on any other level than 'acquaintance', and for that reason she was going to make a conscious effort to avoid ANY sort of relationship. she claimed this all was necessary to 'protect herself'.
because ostracizing oneself is a great way to protect oneself. pfft, yah right- that would explain why solitary confinement has been a staple in our crime and punishment system for years, also our mental health institutions...it makes you go crazy! its counterproductive, perhaps REFLECTION would do you better than blaming all the other chicks in the world because you had a nutty experience with one.
i have heard it all- from 'im going to be a-sexual', to 'you know- i really see very little morally wrong with being involved in a relationship with my cat'. (and for the record, there is indeed something VERY wrong with being solely involved with your pet, unless your pet was something mystical and rad as hell- ex: fire breathing dragon, a narwhal, or a liger. only then i could get down with the idea of you and your pet going on dates.)
why do we constantly do this to ourselves? gay or straight- you can agree, when someone who has earned your trust then turns around and violates it by hurting you in some way, its only natural to recoil. but to swear off an entire gender? well thats just being a bit hasty, now isnt it? ALL women didnt wrong you- that crazy bitch who cheated on you with your best friend and then had the gall to kiss you afterwards did! it isnt EVERY SINGLE GIRL that treats you like shit- its that you are attracted to the same type of girl who constantly mistreats you! its very easy to forget that we could possibly play any hand in letting crazies into our lives...but often times, when a pattern emerges in someones life- its not everyone elses fault, but our own.
when i hear lesbians say 'im done with girls' its because they have been hurt and dont want it to happen again. but there are also the cases of those who just have been terribly unlucky in meeting new girls, and they want to 'give up' due to sheer apathy. to those i say- hold out hope..there are great people out there, every day they surround you, but its up to you and shake their hand.
but along that line of thinking, why do people always feel the need to be in love, or be searching for it? is it really so bad to depend on yourself for comfort and solace? a lonely life isnt all that bad, if you think about all the people who are living that same life with you. i know what i am searching for in life, what truly excites me is making a connection. the moment when you have to stop and go, 'wow, we are all essentially the same machine, and yet we all function so incredibly differently. its exciting to think about sharing a moment with a person where you feel the same..the fact that we can ever feel the same as another human being is mind boggling.' when you are really connecting with another person on a basic, raw, real level. when you talk and you look into someones eyes, and you can really see what they are feeling- no matter how much they try to hide it. when you sit down and have a conversation with a complete stranger, and when you leave you feel like your life would not be the same if you hadnt shared that one moment with them. its in these moments that i feel love.
you dont need to have a partner by your side in order to feel that kind of real love, you just need to tune in and connect to people. so keep your chin up little ladies, i know sometimes women can be cruel...hell, i know sometimes the world can be- but all you can do is know that whatever energy you put out into this world, you will get tenfold. even in our times of unbearable pain, always keep the light of optimism burning bright! and if you dont, ill go ahead and take the liberties of lighting it for you- because i got cho back!