random thought #20

music, thoughts, velcro
humpday thoughts

• first and foremost, i have got to get a few songs out of my dome piece right now..
  **my friend marvin is a dj (aka the clown prince) and he gives me fun songs daily- this was todays gem.
  florence+ the machine- youve got the love
  
  **i dont care if you blaze or not- this song is catchy, amazing, and one of my favorites.
  brazilian girls- pussy
  
  ** what a beautiful day this was:
  
  
  **personally, one of the best remixes ive heard- and such a sexy, provocative song..its how i envision i walk into a party. dont lie- you have a song playing in your head too. now, im honest enough to admit that when i enter a party it would more appropriate to play something a bit more lame, something that has maybe a trip hop beat. you know, that would be easy to play off something like walking into tables or tripping down stairs..agh whatever- ill stick with mr. manson as my soundtrack.
  
  
  **such a beautiful song, and i think the reason why im in love with gregory and the hawk because they always seem produce poetic lyrics. i think im partial to anything thats well written, or at least rooted in the written word..
  
  
  **my heart yearns for the west coast sun on my precious baby face. this song does nothing but make me want to go back to my best friend jill in san fran.
  
  
  **my girlfriend introduced me to these virginia natives a while back, and after i went to their concert (with mambo sauce) they really hit me. absolutely love their work- ive talked about them before- but i really feel people shy away from reggae, soulful, powerful, and meaningful music. its not the 'stanky leg' but i promise it will make you feel something. i love SOJA...
  
  
  **finishing off with a fun combo of weezer and lil wayne. lol i love hearing him sing this song- in those buddy holly glasses. i bet you cant stop partying you fun fella
  weezer + lil wayne- cant stop partying
  
  
• i was pretty bummed today...got some news regarding my social life, and it was disappointing.
  with the information i got- i was prompted to vent this:
  we as humans are required to be selfish sometimes- its called self preservation. never allow anyone to make you feel as if focusing on yourself is a bad thing from time to time. most of my close friends know i cycle around. when i start to feel a bad wave crashing in my life, or im particularly susceptible to stress- i have to address it. im not going anywhere, but you will find times that i retreat into my own head. if i dont take self inventory regularly, im liable to go insane.
  the case is true for anyone (regardless of whether or not you agree with me). you have to put yourself first at some point in order to survive- no question about it.
  i used to spread myself so thin, and ignore any inkling of an emotion inside of me. i lived to make others happy. im still painfully empathetic with my friends, but ive learned that if im not genuinely happy i cannot make anyone else feel that way. ive learned that im not an awful friend if i address myself. and furthermore, who is more invested in helping me, than ME? is it so wrong to say 'im sorry that you are hurting , and i can provide a hug and a few words of wisdom, but i have to work on me right now'? thats not wrong.
  i think its wrong to consistently put yourself over others.
  i think its wrong to take from people without ever expecting to give.
  but more than anything, i think its wrong to use words to stab a friend just to see them bleed. its easy to forget how these words, these symbols we have created, when strung together can completely tare a person down.
  i dont honestly believe i am a bad friend. i take that very, very personally and if you believe that i am- then dont associate with me. but i know when im capable (and even when im not, 100%) i will bend over backwards and run through fire for those i call my 'friends'.
  hell- id even defend you in a court of law- please remember that. i value your friendship, as long as you value mine.
  
  
• the topic of 'self medication' and 'vices' came up today with me and a few people.
  i felt that while not always healthy, that self medication and vices were necessary- and if not that, at least they were normal. that whether or not we own up to it, we all have unhealthy habits/neurosis/issues that we hold on to until we are strong enough to let them go (or weak enough to replace them).
  a girl snapped at me saying that we all should attempt to live a life that is too enlightened to smoke, or drink, or whatever your thing is. (it was at this point i realized she didnt want to actually have an intellectual conversation, but rather hop on her 'drugs, drinking, sex, and anything unholy is wrong' soapbox, and be unwilling to even listen to the other side)
  it was at this point that the reformed stoner came into the conversation. (almost out of nowhere- it was as if he was waiting in the wings, and at the very mention of drugs *BAM* thats his cue) he looked at her and said 'really? you are going to tell ME how to become enlightened?' the girl nodded and said, 'you just dont understand because you havent ever lead a clean, wholesome, vice-free life.' the reformed stoner chuckled and told the girl to shutup because she has a secret stash of ho-hos in her desk drawer.
  i, maturely, high fived him and we walked away.
  
  
• no, i do not owe you my internet friendship because we went to elementary school together, or because in high school we knew eachothers name. it makes me feel weird because you never talked to me- i know you are just trying to get your 'stalk' on.
  
  
• i really wish i were a guy sometimes- only because if i were- i would want to get some sweet ink on my pecs.
  that and id love to pretend my woozle was the wand from harry potter. id roll up into a room all naked, and just go 'wingardium leviosa', then put a flashlight spotlight on my lil fella.
  
  
• i wore my velcro shoes today. yes- the very ones you see beneath you.
  why, you ask?
  meh..hell if i know.
  i just enjoy them because they say, 'im classy enough to wear shoes, but i clearly dont feel this is a situation where laces need to be present'...which sometimes is misinterpreted as 'im lazy as fuck, and like the sound that velcro makes' (which is equally as true)