the gay divide

the gay divide
lesbians and gay boys

in the gay community we shout tirelessly about acceptance, tolerance, and support of gays all around the world- and yet the facts remain, lesbians and gay boys dont always get along. sure, we will stand arm and arm at every rally, and fiercely defend those who attack our fellow homosexuals however if you look at the dichotomy between lesbian and gay men social circles and you will find a clear divide, the gay divide.

the gay divide isnt a nasty relationship between the two factions of gays, in fact its even made light of in many social situations. i can recall not too long ago a few gays came over to a lesbian party. one of them pulled me aside and said, 'oh my god- why dont we hang out more often?! lesbians are so much fun.' his friend jumped in and said, 'thats not allowed! no mixing of the gay juices!!' well- i was shocked! our juices come from the same cup!! of course i mean metaphorical juices, because implying that our literal juices come from the same cup would just be crass- and im a lady.

now i dont want to mislead you, even though its not a secret- the gay divide is NOT something that has intentionally happened, at least thats not how i see it. maybe in some circles there is legitimate beef, or an actual reason the gay boys and girls dont fraternize more often, but ive found- at least with those that i know- it boils down to 'interests'. the biggest difference between these two seemingly similar groups is how they socialize.

so as not to offend anyone, i will only speak of what ive witnessed first hand. when i was first coming out and still in college i found myself instantly attracted to anyone i thought was remotely gay. i had mostly straight male friends, but i started to see a shift in the demographic of my social structures. i had more and more gay men around me all the time. the types of activities we participated in were generally photo shoots. haha how narcissistic of me to admit, but most of the gay boys i associated with were either photographers or models. this is a pattern ive seen spill over to other gay men i know. dont tell me im spewing stereotypes to you- thats not my intention, but the gay boys i still associate with now are all flawless. im not even lying- when i was told to get a makeover for a job the only people i trusted to do my makeup where those boys. they have a blunt honesty that is admirable, but a stereotypical cattiness that most lesbians find off putting.

an interesting fact about lesbians. we will complain about how dramatic women are, and yet claim some gay men are too much for us. that is something i dont understand. drama is drama, your gender has nothing to do with it. we claim to all be different, and yes thats true. but we are so much more the same than we are different. im not preaching some sort of unity party, if you dont wanna hang out with lesbians- go right ahead you big queen. but dont judge a book by its cover- you never know what sort of gay is going to make your day! and finally, in my humble opinion, i think lesbians are a perfect addition to anyones friend roster.