if i were a boy

if i were a boy...
even just for a day

its not often that i think about being a lil guy. im pretty content rocking the XX chromosome. but, after beyonce planted the seed of 'if i were a boy' in my mind, it got my gears going- what if i in fact were a boy? who would i be? ive given it far more thought than i should and came up with this XY recipe to imitate little ol' me:

• 2 cups david bowie (during his space oddity years- but still pre lightning bolt on the face/ glam rock stage..as much as id like to see myself as a glam rock bowie, i know that im not quite that ostentatious and magical looking on the regular.)
• 1 kilo of snoop dogg, and an 8th of biggie
• 1 tsp of jon stewart (with a drizzling of willy ferrel- whip briskly together until blended evenly)
• 1 scoop of vince masuka from dexter
• an entire andy warhol
• 3 cups jonathan safran foer (this is blatantly wishful thinking, as this man is a literary powerhouse and my favorite author, but i wrote the recipe so whatever i say goes)
• 2 handfuls of the king of gonzo himself, mr. hunter s. thompson
• a sprig of dr.drew (more his radio show days, less his 'sex rehab' days)
• 3/4 cup salvador dalí
• 1 gallon of dwight schrute, if only so i too can be the assistant to the regional manager