its all fun and games until the bisexual dates a boy

its all fun and games
until the bisexual dates a boy

bisexuality, to some, is a pit stop on the road to coming out; but for others it is the final fluid resting place for ones sexual classification. as of late, i have a particular soft spot for my bisexual friends, as its become more and more clear to me that their life is in no way easy. i know that all involved in the LGBT community have it rough, but often bisexuals are swept under the rug and written off as 'confused', 'selfish', or 'wanting it all'. if i know one thing about bisexuality its not that they want everyone, they just dont see gender in the way that others do. its not that they lack morals and are sexual deviants- they simply embrace all people, regardless of gender.

i think the face of bisexuality is becoming increasingly one we are more familiar with, but unfortunately those who are publicly coming out arent necessarily doing much to kill the 'bisexual party girl' stigma. while i dont know miss aubrey o'day on a personal level, her public persona is that of a bit of a harlot. now, where she to be standing in front of me in her birthday suit, i dont think i would exactly fight her off- but i would demand a shower and a disinfectant spritz with lysol...i have a healthy fear of STDs, as should you, but i digress. angie jolie is arguably one of the better pillars in the bisexual world- but still, that community is lacking their ellen, the voice of reason to accurately depict who bisexuals are.

in my social circles we most certainly have our bisexuals, but within that circle are different tiers. you have your stereotypical party bisexuals, the straight girls who like to come and dip their toes in the gay waters but make an exit prior to actually doing anything (aside from stirring up a shitstorm). then you have your pitstop bisexuals, those who arent yet comfortable being out completely and thus this is their halfway point. the last level of bisexuals are those who are legitimately everything they claim to be- they love both men and women, and thats that.

most level-headed lesbians have no issue with those who identify as bisexuals, in fact most of the girls i know have even slept with a bi or two- so wheres the disconnect? how can we as a community preach acceptance and tolerance and still hold onto our own personal prejudices? why is there a stigma surrounding bisexuals, and how can we go about fixing this?

i suppose i should back up a little bit, and explain the stigma of which i speak. a few weeks ago i was talking to fellow queerfaqtor vlogger, chelle, about the downside to bisexuality and pansexuality. she mentioned something that really stuck with me- lesbians are ok with a bisexual, as long as shes dating a girl. but when/if she dates a boy, they turn on her. now you know me, i hate generalities and live to disprove them, or at least explain the other side- but i hung my head in shame after that comment. it may not be true for everyone, but i have seen the turn happen first hand.

before i met my dreamboat of a girlfriend, i had talked to a few bisexuals. ok- you caught me- thats a lie...i spoke to one bisexual- we all know im no lady killer. so this one girl and i have had one of those oober-flirtatious relationships. while no one has ever been intimate with the other, we have a close, fun relationship. early on in college, i was enamored by her- long wavy hair, the persona of a hippie, intelligent as all get out. time goes on, she falls for a boy and they live happily ever after. now admittedly, when they first began their love affair, i felt slighted. i was hurt, and took the move as 'man vs woman', instead of her simply following her heart.

i know now not to be so quick to judge, or to in any way think that a bisexual dating a man or a woman has anything to do with a gender power struggle but i still feel bad for my past mistakes. ive seen girls start to date boys and then they are made to feel as if they are selling out, or in some way are less a bisexual because they can so easily hop into the heterosexual waters.

bisexuals-
i extend to you my sincerest apologies for my past indiscretions, and misjudging your portion of the community. i hope that some day (as pollyanna-ish as it may sound) we can all get along, and try to really understand where we all are coming from.
i hope someday, we can all just be lesbifriends!!
-ashley

ultimately, we are all rolling around this crazy world together, we might as well try to get along while we are doing it. so your bisexual friend wants a little wang chung in her life, to each his own my friend! whats that you say? a bisexual wants to be taken seriously and not a punchline in a catchy katy perry single?? you got it! (not that i can actually make that happen, but ill try my darnedest for you little lady!) woah, a bisexual that actually dates both men and women!? no longer shall it be shunned, at least not in my presence!