Wednesday, September 23, 2009

random thought #15

  • i came to the realization not too long ago that no one but a homo should be touching my hair. ive been relatively faithful to my current hairstylist, ive only had momentary trysts with other scissor snappers but i always come back to him. i trust him professionally with my hair, but lesbianally he blows.
    he doesnt understand that razor sheers are all he should really need for me
    (if he were to open his doors to more lesbians, perhaps investing in a buzzer would be helpful- knowing how much lesbians love buzz cuts and steps in their hair as of late) he just doesnt get me.
    i know if he were a lady queer, he would know exactly what i mean when i say,
    i want my hair to say 'i flirt with hipsterdom while munching on vag.' i want simplistically edgy lesbian. apparently im speaking japanese
    so it would seem that my problem is easily solved by going to any number of gays i know in the hair industry, but i want someone who speaks my language.
    i just want a hot dyke i trust, choppin at my locks.

  • my boobs as of late have been playing a game with me. they think its adorable to get my hopes up thinking that they are finally- at 22- going through puberty. but alas- its always just a ruse done by my ladies to remind me that my uterine lining wants to shed.

  • recently i saw a friends boobs. normally i would have no problem with this, but shes one of those friends who really is just that and nothing more...but after seeing her nip nops in all of their glory, even when shes fully clothed i see her naked.
    come to think of it- every chick ive seen naked once or twice has that image burned into my mind. so you think im being adorable, paying attention to what you are saying, and giving you great advice- when in reality you are naked as hell in my head.

  • i learned that some lesbians feel so comfortable around other women, they feel its both appropriate and interesting to talk about their periods at the club.
    i disagree.
    i will talk about my shit until you vomit, but you talk about your period (or a yeast infection) and mentally im taking a trip to mars.
    but on the bright side, i learned the flow intensity and duration of an unknown lesbian who was egar to bost about it.

  • i was hovering over the public toilet seat at work 3 days ago and lost my balance.
    in the process my vagina-meat full on TOUCHED the toilet seat. this terrified me, and it has taken until today for me to not to be convinced that i caught AIDs or any number of communicable diseases.

  • phasefest kickoff dance party is tonight, and lets be real- its wednesday, what else do you have going on?
    that was a bit harsh, as im not one to talk- i work most of the time, including nights, so this will be an event i miss out on.
    dont forget that phasefest 2009 is this week! go and be a big ol dyke and get your gay on at any of the events going on throughout the week. check out my previous blog on phasefest.

1 comment:

  1. i don't think i laugh out loud as much as when i read your blog. did that make sense? i just had a vodka on the rocks at the airport to calm my nerves stemming from thoughts about plane crashes. i especially love the line, 'i flirt with hipsterdom while munching on vag.' i would be freaking if my cootch touched a public toilet seat.