Sunday, August 9, 2009

every good woman owns cuffs

SYTYCD is over, the lword is gone

new lesbian reality TV show alert!

sound the alarms ladies, there is a new show to watch and breathe in the lesbian undertones. i look for it in almost every show. admittedly, perhaps disney doesnt have any allusions to lesbians, but that wont stop me in my undying search for a lesbian connection to everything, even hannan montana..dare to dream, i know.

alright- so i personally have an healthy love for the entire discovery network. i dont watch much tv, but when i do, its only logo, the history channel, e!, discovery health, or investigation discovery. i learned of a new show a few weeks back that debuted on TLC this week. its got four, strong women who are hitting the streets nightly, defending our freedoms.this soon to be CLASSIC reality 'docu-series'- is called, the police women of broaward county!

it has some lame storyline of 'women, who can juggle it all. be a loving mom *insert stepfordwife-esque kitchen scene here*, and also lay down the law *insert tough guy being thrown to the ground by same woman*' blah blah blah. we all know women can kick our ass- we deal with them everyday, so what makes this show any different?
well- perhaps my shallow-side is showing, but 3/4 of the girls are pretty foxy.
and by pretty foxy i mean, 'ive never been a huge fan of cops, but dear lord i want to see them in action. frisk me for too long. dont alow me to call my attorney. hell- lock me in a holding cell with jerry falwell. i dont care, as long as you look into my eyes and call me 'ashley' (in a breathy, dreamy voice) while you read me my rights.'
im sure im not the only one whos given it some thought. please note i said 3/4 of the women were foxy. the other one- well. im not here to judge anyone but if she were to accoust me- my first thought would be, 'this queen needs to chillout'...but again- no judging.

so lets meet the ladies-
heres shelunda-
ok, i like her a lot. got a lot of spunk, but in all honesty, when i see her- im just thinkin 'rudy' from the cosby show.

heres ana-
girlfriends willing to do whatever it takes. no way in hell is my neurotic ass gonna finger a randos bootyhole b/c my job requires it. but kudos to her for being a better woman than i am.

heres julie-
i would never say she looks like a queen if she can kill me, dispose of my body properly and make sure my murder goes unsolved..
maybe i think she has more power than she does- regardless, here she is:

*cue whitney houston, best for last*
i did in fact, save the best for last-
meet andrea-
plain and simple? im a smitten kitten for her.
everything she does is just so perfect to me.
i want to have her in a snow globe on my nightstand...i mean that sweetly, not creepily.

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