Friday, August 21, 2009

uhauling, 'wifey', and marriage- OH MY!

uhauling, 'wifey', and marriage-

i was explaining to a coworker yesterday the concept of 'uhauling' amongst lesbians.
lesbians and uhauls have had a torrid love affair since the dawn of time, or at least somewhere around the mid 1980s. the term 'uhauling' generally means, after a brief tryst or two- the two female parties pack up their shit, and uhaul it up! they move in together, and it often ends in disaster.

even knowing this- i am going to be 'uhauling' for the first time in my life soon.
yes- i shall be committing this sin in the lesbian world...alright, less a sin, and more just being fiscally responsible. for as im sure you well know, we are in tough economic times. sure, thanks to big barack things are beginning to turn around, but on the whole- we are still very much in a recession.

i have gotten 2 massive paycuts this past year.
i drive over 60 miles a day, just to get to work and home.
i have an unhealthy love affiar with ebay, online shopping, cheap sunglasses and thrift stores.
in essence- im not the most fiscally upright person. i, like most in their early 20s, am trying desperately to stay afloat, and not return to my parents home for shelter.
but try as i might, times are tough.

then my girlfriend proposed the idea of us moving in together. we first got together back in november of last year, so its not exactly a brief courtship. and i legitimately love her with every fiber of my soul. no one has ever kept my playful spirit interested as much as she has, and no one has ever given me butterflies every time they walk in the door. i love the shit out of her- but moving in? yikes.

i know a lot about lesbian stereotypes.
i know enough about them to know how not to be one...but this time 'uhauling it' makes sense.
when i was talking to my coworker, he said 'well, so you are now a uhauling lesbian too??'
i emphatically said, 'NO WAY! are you kidding?! pfft not me. no never.'
but by definition i totally am! what a fuckin hypocrite!
so whats my rational? how do i weasel out of being a stereotype?
four words- it makes financial sense!

my babies, we are in a recession, and thus its no longer trendy, or cute, or just plain stupid to move in with your lady.
in fact- uhauling shouldnt carry the negitive connotation that it has for years.
if i were to move in with my girlfriend, it would save me all across the board; gas, rent, no more paying for expensive hookers and prostitutes! ;-)

but i still found myself trying to push MY moving in with my girlfriend away from everyone else doing it, and it being 'uhauling'.
b/c uhualing scares the shit out of me. ive never lived with a partner ever, and while i know it will be the best move for my wallet, and it is what my heart wants- i just do not want to be that stereotype. i dont want to be that couple.

nothing irks me more than hearing that couple who has been dating for a little while and already calling each other 'wifey'. if you are ellen and portia, go to fucking town on the wife tip, but if you are not married, why throw that term around? we cant get married..thats just rude of you to throw it out there.
do you want to get married? after weeks of knowing that chick?
i believe in romance over most things in life, but i really find it terrifying that women throw this term around so carelessly.

i hate to be a terrible lesbot, but it makes me worry about gay marriage. when it passes (b/c it WILL someday), will lesbians be jumping into the marriage business like we jump into the sack with each other? what will the lesbian divorce rate be? will every lady who calls her girl 'wifey' wanna slap a ring on her finger?
regardless of all of those things, we should still have the right to choose whether or not we walk down the aisle.
dunno about you, but i never got to vote on whether or not hetero marriage was 'lawful', no bill passed in front of my eyes saying that i am a second class citizen- i should have the right to marry whoever i want- man, woman, tranny, or queen.
dont even get me started on the whole 'gays marrying would ruin the sanctity of marriage' crock of shit. are you kidding me? marriage has never been considered too sacred, dont you all remember dowries, or women being property and being sold with a plot of land. lest you forget- it has only been in the recent centuries that marriage has even been associated with love.
i digress- ill step down off my soapbox.

in conclusion: uhauling is ok for lesbians- if we are in a recession;
stop calling your girlfriend wifey if you are not in fact her wife;
marriage is marriage- no if, ands, heteros or gays about it.


  1. I have never heard the term uhauling! You learn something new every day.

    And on the civil partnership front, in Britain when the law was passed it was, obviously, very popular but now it's gone back to normal and there are less civil partnerships than heterosexual marriages.

    I think that if your heart thinks it's a good idea to move in with your girlfriend then that's all the proof you need. It's about you and your girlfriend, not the rest of the world. They don't feel how you feel, so fuck them. :)

    - Pepper. x

  2. Maybe when it's first legalized a bunch of people will jump into it, but I think it will end up just being like straight marriages-- there will still be some crazy people that get married too soon. Crazy people obviously come in all sexual orientations.

    And if you've been w/ your GF since november that doesn't seem fast at all. Good luck with the move!

  3. I knew about u-hauling, but I didn't know it had a "name". :) - Catch the cheating scum!