Saturday, August 22, 2009

innie vs outtie

so girl, what are ya??
an innie, or an outtie?

i had a healthy awareness of my body from a very young age. i credit that to an open discussion policy with my parents (aka i was a hyper inquisitive child; and my parents were almost forced to indulge me just so i would shut up) and also my county was mildly progressive in their teaching of health/sex ed.

i knew what my body looked like; that no body was truly 'normal'- everyone was different; and that vaginas looked cooler than wiener wands. i also knew, along with everyone else that 'innie' was a belly button that you could put your thumb into, and an 'outtie' looked almost like a crescent moon popping out of ones stomach. admittedly, when i was younger i was terrified of those who had outties- i figured it was some sort of robot sign..i dunno.

as i got older, and my vernacular more vast- i learned the other definition of 'innie' and 'outie' when it comes to the ladies. oh yes- we are going there..hop aboard the genital express, we are going to lady town- all the way the last stop, VAGINATOWN!

when i started thinking of blogging on this topic i began to ask around and see how accepted the terms were. was it just something me and a few other people spoke of commonly? did i make it up? or does everyone understand this term?

i found that it was pretty much hit or miss- just about 50/50. but when i explained to the other 50 what it was, hahah, every time it was fantastic to hear their expressions.

the best way to explain what a innie vs outtie is, is to show you- but not in the way pervs would find attractive.
step 1- tilt your left ear, to your left shoulder; so that your head is now tilted to the side.
step 2- place index fingers, on respective sides of the mouth (left to left, right to right)
step 3- pull taught.
step 4a- ||for "innie": do nothing
step 4b- ||for "outtie": stick out tongue a little bit

just in time for saturday night! now when you are trying to pick up a new hottie at the bar, in addition to asking her if shes single (for the night), over legal age, AND 'so girl, you an innie or an outtie?'

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