they are crazy as hell
they are crazy as hell
i used to think at night i had the most brilliant ideas, all of which escaped me when the morning sun came up.
so i got the simple idea of while being half asleep, writing down my incredible thoughts.
i did it for the first time last night, and frankly, well- i even floored myself. here (verbatim, no less) are some of the gems that flowed out of my head last night:
- i need a pet. ideally something fun and emotive, so i could lie to myself and pretend that talking to my pet was actually a valid substitute for social interaction. i would like a jumbo-sized frog. like the size of my entire abdomen. i bet it would be plush to the touch and would eat birds.
- id also like a duck. but a domestic duck that would go on walks with me. id have a harness for him and id name him franklin.
- dinosaur + lion hybrid = awesome
- dinosaur + rhino hybrid = BADA$$ (and you bet your sweet ass in my book i drew little dolla signs. i know- shits fly as hell)
- the stereotypical, "crazy old lady" is in fact, not crazy. she goes home at night and 'turns off the crazy'. she sprays febreeze thats 'cat urine' scented as to further the 'crazy old cat lady' persona. its actually punishment in the old lady community to be the 'crazy one' for a time. but you are forced to do so if you were a bad old lady and break the code. think old lady fight club.
so i met a good friend of mines cousin. the cousin was adorable and very sweet. when we were leaving, she sneezed, and i said 'if hello kitty had a sneeze, that would be it. honestly- i swear you just sneezed hearts, stars, rainbows and magic.'
now, to me, thats a huge compliment. if i had to translate that from 'ashley speak' it would say, 'bless you miss. your sneeze was precious, and made me feel good inside' but instead, i just made her feel awkward and uncomfortable.
so, its friday- im gearing up for the weekend. and this one should be a big ol' pile of fun. tonight will be a little social gathering, saturday night will be a much larger social gathering (in honor of two beautiful baby ladies 21st bday) and then sunday and monday, d-bone and myself will be going to ocean city.
the plan was 'romantic getaway' but turns out, a handful of our friends are going down as well. i find it amusing that somehow we all tend to flock together, regardless- it will be fun. i have a few special tricks up my sleeves to really 'turn on the charm' with my lady.
if you enjoy getting little gifts, or sweet creative things, i suggest that you date someone with an overactive imagination. nothing makes me happier than showering the woman in my life with sweet little notes, interesting gifts, and precious what-nots. but its my intention- no no, my MISSION to make you something that you have never seen/received before.
have a beautiful weekend m'ladies!!