eye want candy...

EYE want CANDY
get it? b/c you are perverted and want to see hot wimminz

don't try to hide it lesbians- i know whats going on inside of your head and let me just say, you are some dirty girls.
here are some even dirtier girls to wet your pallets on this tuesday:


miss olivia wilde-
aka: the one megan fox wants to smash cookies with.

well, if it weren't for her flawless milky completion, or her arguably perfect bone structure, then her eyes would surely just slay you.
granted, im OCD about eyebrows and its one thing i do notice right off the bat about everyone- but miss wilde is a stellar example of the perfect sultry arch.

does anyone else wanna just lick her cheekbone? perhaps im showing my creep but i just want to breathe next to her. and then play twister or slip-n-slide (no homo, i legit LOVE slip-n-slides, in particular, crocodile mile) but i digress. shes pretty, shes got a quick wit, and shes interesting.

and if you are bitter i posted the blond pic of her versus her darker color then google image search it and chill. moving along, olivia is a perfect segway into the obvious- megan fox.


megan fox-
aka: the one bisexual EVERY lesbian wants to get down with

alright- so ive said it before, but this woman is OCC (out of control). shes dynamic and certainly an individual...although at times it can be argued that its a bit disconcerting that she tends to mirror a lot of angelina's characteristics, but who can blame her?

many lesbians LOVE the fact that she has made it crystal clear that she only gets down with tha' dykes.

"I would never date a girl who was bisexual, because that means they also sleep with men, and men are so dirty that I'd never want to sleep with a girl who had slept with a man."

moving right along- so, we have gotten the 'sex kittens' out of the way, now onto the funny ladies i love. and you should too...

leisha hailey-
aka: lead singer of uh huh her, and of course- alice from the l word.

now i will be honest- i fell in love with her as 'alice' so admittedly i know more about 'alice' than 'leisha' but this is the eye candy segment...and shes eye candy regardless of her true identity. i obviously feel a very strong attraction to alice b/c she was offbeat, witty, topical, fun, and adorable.

then i heard her band. the first song i ever heard by them was 'explode' and i nearly wet myself i loved it so much.

so lets get all the information straight- er, gay- shes an official card carrying lesbian, shes gorgeous from femme to butch, shes incredibly talented musically, and intellectually...im not seeing the downside. oh wait- shes taken. well personally, i see that as an opportunity for us to work on our friendship first, then take it from there. lol- no but in all honesty i admire that shes successful, committed, and from what i can tell- happy and gay as hell.

you know who else is gay as hell? miss bridget mcmanus. oh hello you funny sassy vixen you.

bridget mcmanus-

aka: she has pillow fights in her PJs, while in bed, with other noteworthy lesbians...essentially, she's a god, whos living the lesbian dream. or at least mine..

whats not to like? aside from her life in general is just amazing, she lives over in california and thus im smitten, but shes incredibly smart- she thinks on her toesies and lets just take a moment to drool over the magicalness that is her face.

you need to check her out if you aren't aware of her 'brunch with bridget' vlog. go to afterellen.com and check her out. hell- stalk her on facebook. well don't actually stalk, i mean it in fun way our over-internet-socialized generation means it. as in, 'lol omg, i was stalking your mom on facebook yesterday. she was looking RIGHT in the 80's, saw some old uploads. you will age well.'

so whos left? there are countless other delicious smart, scissor-worthy ladies out there...and in time im sure we will hunt them all down, and if even in our heads- we can live out our lives with them.

i know im still livin' the dream with my baby lindsay lohan. i will never give up on my princess. im also obsessed with oprah- but thats just b/c deep in the recesses of my mind i firmly believe that i am akin to miss winfrey.

i feel like im the white, 'lifetime TV movie', version of oprah sometimes...whatever- dont judge me.