Friday, July 31, 2009

hot, steamy, lesbian sex?

gays dont do labels
lesbians dont do definitions

maybe its just the circle i run with, but lesbians are fickle when it comes to answering the question, 'so did you all have sex?'...often this is where the lesbian being posed the question says 'i mean, we hooked up'.

you can ask 100 lovely ladies 'what do you consider "sex" between two women?' and you will get several different answers. and im just as confused as you are.

here are the question i pose to lesbians as a whole regarding what we consider sex.
  • does it count only if we both touch eachother?
    and if so- then does it count if clothes were on?and if clothes were on, but pulled to the side, but technically 'staid on' the whole time, does it count?
  • what if one party touches the other, but the latter party does nothing?
  • is it sex if im only using my hands?
    or is sex only oral?
    and if
    thats the case, what about those couples who one person NEVER takes a trip downtown (thats just rude, you are really missing out- imo)...are they considered celibate?

i could go on, as my mind has a tendency to race- but honestly. i wish someone would clarify. this is one reason i just dont touch many people at all! therefore i dont have the awkward, 'did we just have sex' conversation...actually, im sure no one has that convo...minus me. *sigh* god im awkward.

i was thinking about how downright sad some of sexual encounters have been. but sad in a fun way! when they happen i tell myself 'oh this must happen to everyone!' ashley. just you. you are THAT girl that high fives people after a love session. you are THAT girl who says 'oh man, haha- its like magic, your fingers just disappeared' in the middle of an encounter.

ill keep telling myself that its adorable and makes me more 'real', but you dont have to correct me. i know the truth- im just really fucking bizarre. im pretty sure i was put on this earth to make others feel better about their 'oopsie' moments.

i had a friend come to me the other day and say 'this girl stopped me in the middle of a sexin session and said "this is awful- just stop" it made me sad.' of course i jumped in with 'dont feel bad- let me rattle off the list of things i have done in my life that are a zillion times more embarrassing, and yet i seem to just embrace them.'

needless to say- im confident that my stories made her feel a little bit better about her situation. but that still doesnt answer my question- DID WE JUST HAVE SEX OR NOT??


  1. To me sex is when two people either have a connection while hooking up, or when you both go down on each other. I think that you define your own sex. I myself just get a feeling like "oh, we just had sex" but not everyone feels like that. I think it's funny because most straight people ask "how do girls have sex?" and we can't even answer them because it's just not a clear and simple answer, we hardly know ourselves.

  2. Lol! I think that there is no cut and dry answer to that question. It's something that I've thought about a lot. For a straight couple, they could have a 'quickie' and keep their clothes on, but I'm not too sure I'd consider the lesbian equivalent 'sex', maybe because I view lesbian sex as something that's more intimate..?

  3. Its only sex if you come ... at least one of you, anyway. I'm surprised how many people ask this same question, but isn't sex about reaching a climax?! I know there is a lot to be said about just being naked & intimate (when you're in a relationship) so guess it does depend on the connection & how hot & steamy that moment can be.

  4. look at all of those fun faces you made there!

  5. This comment has been removed by the author.

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