Thursday, July 30, 2009

'we met online'

we met online
but not e-harmony b/c gays arent allowed.
although they made a
'gay' site...too little too late!

now i know its rude, but when i hear that, i have to stop myself from rolling my eyes. dont lie, part of you goes 'hm, well. thats neat' outside but inside you flirt with the thought of 'dear jesus they met online'.

realistically i know that in our internet-friendly world, that it happens often. hell- its happened to me time and time again. ive known of people on facebook b/c i see them constantly in my normal stalking of friends photos, vice versa is true as well. i actually had someone come up to me at a party once saying 'are you ashley? yah, i know you from online' i sheepishly said 'i dont believe we are friends online?' and she goes 'yah i know.' and then, b/c i never leave a awkward convo without saying the last word (as to take the awkwardness away from another and thus just be awk on my own..i know, im a peach what can i say) i said 'well lets get on that!! i like your hair. you seem fun.' meh, it wasnt the best response, but i worked with it.

now dont be fooled, there are different levels of 'stalking' online- some creepier and less ok to talk about in public than others.

the facebook creep:
how to interpret what people say v. mean on facebook whilst creepin

  • 'we have mutual friends'- this one is pretty self explanatory. often ladies add other ladies that they have never in fact met face to face, but have heard of, or seen around, or as stated above- seen in mutual friends photos constantly. this isnt so creepy, as you (the adder) are at least 90% sure that the girl (the addee) is a real breathing human being, isnt an ax murder*, and is put together in a fun way.

  • 'i randomly found you'- uh, this is bullshit. nothing is truly random. chances are high the girl who sends you this friend request was doing the facebook creep, in search mode, looking for hot lesbot snatch in her area. or shes not real and shes just trying to add you and steal your photos, and shes actually a dude. (not a transsexual tho, b/c i think you all are cool as hell)

  • 'omg remember me! elementary school!'- meh..toolbag.

  • 'i love your new albums, you have SOO many'- ok, they are about 4 steps away from stealing your cat, mounting and stuffing it and petting it nightly. (read: they are obsessed with you) or they have looked at all of your albums and realized that you do not have a life outside of facebook, or that you are a photo whore.

  • 'like'- oh the 'like' feature. well this is generic so its hard to say. i know from personal experience i just love hitting that button, i also love to hit it when its really inappropriate. (i.e their status says 'i lost my cell phone and keys last night, and got a DUI on my bike'- i LIKE!! their status says 'grandpa passed away'- i LIKE...however if its really inappropriate like most i wish i could do other things aside from simply 'like', as often time it doesnt convey the proper emotion, but thats what comments and emoticons are for!

im not sure about you, but i wish facebook would stop the whole 'you might know' feature.

you know what facebook?
you are right, i might know my exes ex who she cheated on me with. i might know people that i refuse to add b/c we have had too many awkward encounters. i also might know the people i deleted off of my facebook b/c there was no reason for us to be friends aside from them stalking me (and stalking is never fun if its one sided). and you know what? its safe to say that i know ALL of my bosses who are now on facebook. however if i want to be someones friend or if i 'may know them', why dont you leave the search and add combo up to me?

lets be real- myspace is almost completely dead, unless you are a pedophile.

  • i dont really have much to say about myspace anymore- as it really is dead and while i know this, i still refuse to delete my account that i have had since high school. i also update my playlist regularly, and often update information on dedicated- stupid, but dedicated.

  • i do feel like myspace is the pervy uncle who hasnt really done anything wrong, but just makes you feel weird.

back to meeting people online.
it can work out- i feel like its becoming more accepted, and hell, who am i to judge ya?!
but i cant shake it...when i have legit met someone offline, and we become great friends (oh sup jarvis)
i always say with a mild degree of shame-
'we met online.'


  1. Oh Facebook and Myspace...taking away from human interaction and the need to look people in the eye when you speak to them. Once a social networking tool, now a way for people to find out anything they need to know about someone. I admit, I'm a Facebook stalker (please see my blog post about it). I will know how many siblings you have and all of your ex gf's names after meeting you once in a bar. Shameless.

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