Monday, July 20, 2009

random thought #6

everyone has their own sense of style (or lack thereof) i personally am a creature that yearns to be decked out in color, patterns, ostentatious designs and bold innovative new things. (essentially i could live in american apparel, urban outfitters, or athropologie, but as im broke i just stalk their websites and thrift my own way into ashley-style)
i recently was demoted b/c of my style 'just not meshing' with a client at work...but if there is one thing i can take the blame whole heatedly for- its never compromising who i am.

i recently got into a 'discussion' (read: scream fest) with my mother on the VERY topic at had. she was telling me that i need to stop being so narrow minded. i wouldn't classify myself as 'hard headed' per say, but i will say that im very much who i am, and im unapologetically myself. and i do not wayver in my belief that one day i will find a job that suits not only my passion, but me as a person- on the whole.
my mother wants me to understand that i was recently demoted b/c i was unwilling to completely cave to a certain type of dress for this one client...i must also mention that over the course of a year i spent a shitload on clothes that were matronly and old for this client, i also chopped off all my hair- to a length ive never had before all to appease this client, and furthermore- i changed my makeup ALL around, and the colors from black liner to any queen will know- dont go fuckin with a bitches makeup bin unless you mean business.

i digress. she has a point. i should be more willing to compromise. but i felt like i did 100% do what they wanted, and it still wasnt enough. my mother wants me to embrace a more 'realistic dream' of getting a good job and following my passion on the side.

im sorry- im not at a point in my life where im willing to go 'oh well, i tried really hard, but i might as well settle, get a decent job, and do what makes me happy on the side'...FUCK THAT! i want to be completely immersed in my work, in my passions, and in my life, i want them to all fuse together and melt as one. is that asking for too much?

sure its going to be hard work, and yah- im going to have a shitload of set backs, but thats what makes the journey so beautiful- and makes the end result that much more fulfilling.

am i being too idealistic (as per the ush) or am i completely valid in thinking that your life can be everything you want it to be, if you work your tail feather off?


  1. adele- chasing pavements.

    i think the answer is clear- you follow your dreams, follow your heart.

    you have chosen one of the most difficult, disappointing professions out there. it is not for the faint of heart. are you willing to put in the years of work it takes most people to "make it"?

  2. i think you're right in not completely compromising who you are for work. if you think about it, we spend most of our lives working so we can make money, so that we can "enjoy our lives"; yet we don't get to actually enjoy our lives to the fullest because we're always working towards being able to afford time off.
    so stand you ground and get a job you love so that that huge portion of your life isn't hell.. like most people's.

    oh btw. i miss you. and thoroughly enjoy your blog. =]