random thought #6

everyone has their own sense of style (or lack thereof) i personally am a creature that yearns to be decked out in color, patterns, ostentatious designs and bold innovative new things. (essentially i could live in american apparel, urban outfitters, or athropologie, but as im broke i just stalk their websites and thrift my own way into ashley-style)
i recently was demoted b/c of my style 'just not meshing' with a client at work...but if there is one thing i can take the blame whole heatedly for- its never compromising who i am.

i recently got into a 'discussion' (read: scream fest) with my mother on the VERY topic at had. she was telling me that i need to stop being so narrow minded. i wouldn't classify myself as 'hard headed' per say, but i will say that im very much who i am, and im unapologetically myself. and i do not wayver in my belief that one day i will find a job that suits not only my passion, but me as a person- on the whole.
my mother wants me to understand that i was recently demoted b/c i was unwilling to completely cave to a certain type of dress for this one client...i must also mention that over the course of a year i spent a shitload on clothes that were matronly and old for this client, i also chopped off all my hair- to a length ive never had before all to appease this client, and furthermore- i changed my makeup ALL around, and the colors from black liner to brown...now any queen will know- dont go fuckin with a bitches makeup bin unless you mean business.

i digress. she has a point. i should be more willing to compromise. but i felt like i did 100% do what they wanted, and it still wasnt enough. my mother wants me to embrace a more 'realistic dream' of getting a good job and following my passion on the side.

im sorry- im not at a point in my life where im willing to go 'oh well, i tried really hard, but i might as well settle, get a decent job, and do what makes me happy on the side'...FUCK THAT! i want to be completely immersed in my work, in my passions, and in my life, i want them to all fuse together and melt as one. is that asking for too much?

sure its going to be hard work, and yah- im going to have a shitload of set backs, but thats what makes the journey so beautiful- and makes the end result that much more fulfilling.

am i being too idealistic (as per the ush) or am i completely valid in thinking that your life can be everything you want it to be, if you work your tail feather off?